This photo (above) was sent to us by “Viyh.” It is horribly offensive. Yes— this is true. However, your Shorts & Pants wishes to inquire on how the fuck this thing came into existence in the first place? AND WE HAVE THE ANSWER.
African nations are putting these horrible things up all over the place to get people to leave. After all— less people means less exhaustion of resources, a lower unemployment rate and the like… but JEEBUS PEOPLE. Do we really need to advocate RAPE in a foreign country in order to draw people out of it? Yes. Africa is fucked. How’s that imperialism workin’ out for ya?
(Ed. Note: We don’t have a source for this. It just came to us by carrier pigeon randomly. Your Shorts & Pants takes a strong stance against violence of any kind— especially towards women. Finland is an exception to this rule according to some cultures. Who knew?)
The Moonie Times has brought up something that every other massive news outlet has somehow missed— and we need to get to the bottom of it. According to 
We must make cutbacks in order to subsist in these hard times. Utah understands this, and they have a fantastic idea! Let’s just 
Pat Robertson is a 
The miraculous movement started in 1999 to destroy the Republican Party, somehow, has gained quite a bit of tread in the last year. This is an unexplainable anomaly, as The Club For Growth believes essentially the same thing as the GOP. The difference? THEY ARE THE NEW, IMPROVED GOP. Just look at 
Oh, the filth of those unruly deviants— the poor (blacks). How arrogant of them to assume they hold a place in our richly aristocratic society. What, say you, gives a person with a beating heart and no money any actual use? Enough of this Utilitarian nonsense! ROBUST the Leviathan. LIVE as the survivor. Nay, if ye cannot survive, you shant enjoy the fruits of the labor-less. Back to your field— and TOIL in your inadequacy. Ben Stein shall have no part of you. Cast you off, you liquidity-lacking demon! OFF I say.
Do you find the photo contained in this post to be TERRIFYING? You should, because there is yet another threat to the welfare of our Nation that must be recognized without any racial bias, at all. We must stop the whites and the blacks from marrying each other— otherwise 9/11 will happen to our children, forever. 
JIM! He’s from Oklahoma. 
The finely screwed up balance between church and state is something that continues to plague Small Town America. It is the hottest issue since coat-hanger abortions became legalized in 1994 and marijuana prescriptions began for 5 year-old children in 1998. Now there is a different beast ruining our society — religious signs and chants during a high school football game.
California has been nothing but Fat City for the last 6 years. It was in 2003, when the State (Karl Rove) installed a robot-human into the Governor’s Mansion who was supposed to lead us out of the so-called “despair” that a Democrat had caused. We were pissed about budget delays and “too much Government,” which is a nice segway into the clusterfuck caused by a burly Austrian. This Austrian has broken many proud records, such as the Record for Longest Delay in Securing a Budget (3 times), and the coveted Record for Simultaneously Breaking the Record of Greatest Deficit While Still Being Able to Cut Most State Services.
There is really no point of trying anymore, believers of Evolution. Not even Hollywood, with its awful mouth-breathing liberals, can possibly explain why a 
There was once a time, many decades ago, when law enforcement was the hero of the town, bad guys were really bad, and everyone looked up to the man protecting them from EVIL DOERS.
Hello people in the south! You have won the Civil War after all! CELEBRATE! Somewhere in Florida there is a town outside of the posh estate-shit-homes that white people from Chicago and New York buy up like they buy up cocaine and other services, where people have no money, at all. This is where all the tomatoes come from! In the winter!
