Posts tagged ‘NO HEALTH CARE FOR YOU’

We Must Repeal Laws That Don’t Exist Yet

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 March, 2010, 2 Comments

After all of these years of Health Care reform ruining our Nation and turning us into an angry breed of socialist scum hell-bent on destroying all that is right and true in the world, National Review would like to share with you the solution to this terrible thing that has gripped all persons in fear and dismay for far too long. Let’s repeal the thing. Never mind if no measure of law has been enacted. We must act.

This is a true advancement for us all.

“The Case for Repeal” is the name of the column in which we speak of. This thing is full of glorious tidbits unmatched by the best of minds. Newton, Socrates and the like could never have matched the wit of the great Rich Lowry, Editor of National Review, who has this to share with you.

If Pelosi somehow succeeds, Democrats will tell themselves they’ve finally attained a goal that has eluded them since Truman. But it won’t be over.

Alright, so Rich begins with a very strong statement. “IT WONT BE OVER.” Surely this article will be about Health Care Reform. Yes. It is beyond any doubt that Rich will go off about the subject in the headline.

In terms of the Iraq War, it will be the toppling–the–Saddam Hussein–statue phase of the operation, with more combat still in the offing.

What, Rich? That’s not Health Care. Now you’re talking about Iraq. That doesn’t make any sense, Rich. Are you off the meds?

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Various Numbers Indicate Popularity of Health Care Reform For Some Awful Reason

By shortsshortsshorts, 26 January, 2010, No Comment

We jacked the above-image from “The Atlantic.” More specifically, Andrew Sullivan, who just loves to muse about things that are far more relevant then your Shorts & Pants wishes to recognize. As you can see, there is a great amount of favoritism in the United States towards various initiatives in said “Health Care Bill.” Luckily a propaganda machine has caused these elements to look terrible when combined. This means that we mustn’t pass it, ever. The American people simply cannot have something they want, as that would be anti-American in nature.

United States Approves Another $636 Billion For Wars — Still Refuses To Take Care Of Its Own

By shortsshortsshorts, 18 December, 2009, 2 Comments

We should be proud of ourselves, America. While our elected leaders work tirelessly to please insurance lobbyists and completely dismantle anything close to health care reform, there is one debate they won’t be having this Holiday season. War? WELL THAT’S JUST FINE.

By a vote of 395 to 34, the House approved the bill and sent it to the Senate, which is expected to act as soon as Friday, when current funding expires.

We can’t say this information wasn’t readily available through media outlets Nationwide, but we can say that it’s contemptible bullshit. All those taxes you pay? We are currently funding Universal Health Care in Iraq (because we are the ones putting many of them in the hospital). BUT WHATEVER, why give American citizens anything more then a shit sandwich for Christmas?

We are getting pretty sick of this “war” business.

Glenn Beck To America: “Lying To You Causes Me Great Pleasure”

By shortsshortsshorts, 17 December, 2009, 3 Comments

WINDBAGS! We love them. Apparently, a bunch of righty blogs, including freakish human Michelle Malkin, were throwing around rumors about how Senator Ben Nelson is being threatened with domestic terrorism if he does not vote for health care reform by closing down Nebraska’s Offutt Air Force Base, which would make for some fairly angry Nebraskans, we imagine.Luckily, this rumor was denied by just about every government official no earth. However, this is of no consequence to KING WINDBAG, Mr. Glenn Beck. Take it away, Glenn! It’s TREASON TIME:

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PrayerCast To Ruin Health Care Reform With Direct Action From God Himself

By shortsshortsshorts, 14 December, 2009, 1 Comment

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Wingnuts are tired of the conventional means in which our Nation is addressing health care. After all, mankind has failed to deliver a bill that is fitting to Conservative Jesus. As a number of matters continue to be ignored, it is time to break out the nuclear option— Jesus.

Jesus will be showing up at exactly 8:30 p.m. on Wednesday, December 16, 2009. He will probably be armed heavily, so be weary of this. Jesus only has so much time to kill the liberals and their awful health care initiatives. Who will he be present with? Why, all of his closest followers, of course. Here is a list of people who will be conferring directly with the Lord Almighty in anticipation of the coming slaughter:

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“Concerned Women For America” Experiments With Existential Literature In Anti-Health Care Reform Tyrade

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 December, 2009, 4 Comments

Let’s have a chat about “completeness.” What exactly makes somebody “complete?” Is “completeness” part of a greater “is?” Is the “is” actually an “is not?” ARE WE BEING DECEIVED? Concerned Women For America would like to address these questions. And if you haven’t experienced an existential crisis yet in this post, Concerned Womenz For America would like to point you in the direction of “completeness.”

When implemented, the complete lives system produces a priority curve on which individuals aged between roughly 15 and 40 years get the most substantial chance, whereas the youngest and oldest people get chances that are attenuated . . . the complete lives system justifies preference to younger people . . . Additionally, the complete lives system assumes that, although life-years are equally valuable to all, justice requires the fair distribution of them.

That’s from Dr. Ezekiel Emmanuel— Obama’s Special Advisor for Health Policy. Seems pretty straight forward, right? WRONG. The Concerned Ladies would like you to understand the truth of it all:

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Stupid E-Mails From John McWalnuts

By shortsshortsshorts, 3 December, 2009, 1 Comment

John McCain has figured out how to use an “e-mail” service. This should be the breaking news, but THERE IS MORE! His horrible amendment to the health care plan — the one where “Medicaid doesn’t get affected” is getting a vote today!

We are all well aware that Walnuts is doing all of this for money (sweet lobbyist buttsecks dollars, probably), so the amendment unlike many other lobbyist buttsecks amendments, will probably fail horribly. BUT IT DOES SEND A MESSAGE, right? HHHEENNNGHHH?? Anyway — the e-mail — right.

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Chuck Norris KNOWS THE FACTS

By shortsshortsshorts, 12 November, 2009, 8 Comments

So you think Chuck Norris is just going to sit back and take this Socialized medicine bit? You think Chuck takes any crap, FROM ANYONE? Chuck is going to knock the teeth out of this health care bill. Just you wait, liberals.

Chuck has put you on notice. You best pack your commie bags and get out of this town. Chuck’s coming after you, and don’t expect any mercy if you don’t heed the warning.
We know that Chuck has recently begun the not-badass practice of writing for Townhall, but don’t worry— he still rocks out with his karate word-sleuthing and drop-kick analyzing. This shit’s on. What does Dr. Kickass himself have to say about this health care deal?

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Recently Uncovered Caveats

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 November, 2009, 4 Comments

America’s favorite debate rages on, with costs becoming a major issue for Pete Sessions— Texas’ 32nd Congressional Hero, questionable fundraiser, and lady-lover.

Sessions ways in with the CAVEAT— as with health care reform, women, with their lady-needs, would cost as much as smokers to cover. Quote:

“Why should a woman pay more than a man?” asked New Jersey Democrat Frank Pallone, according to the Courthouse News Service.

“Well, we’re all different,” Sessions explained. “Why should a smoker pay more?” he said, before being interrupted.

You see? Women are like smokers, somehow. Mr. Sessions understands this. Why does Barack Obama hate women and love smoking so much?

Interesting Websites

By shortsshortsshorts, 5 November, 2009, 1 Comment

The Health Care bill has been getting a lot of guff over its proposed use of DEATH PANELS, which we are all painfully aware is written all over the damn thing. That is why there are incredible places to learn all about killing the bill that wants to kill your grandmother. It is entitled “don’tkillgrandma.com,” a magical place where photos, such as the one in this post, dissuade the evil Liberal anti-Nazi bill from coming into fruition. They point out that Communism has killed millions of people in the last century. It fails, however, to identify how many people Universal Health Care has killed in the last 50 years. Surely it is BILLIONS of people, because that is the complaint we hear all the time from the Canadians and the Dutch and the English and Whoever else has such a plan.

To wit:

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Health Care Protests

By shortsshortsshorts, 28 October, 2009, 5 Comments

1028090840 Your Editor went to a protest this morning! It was a great deal of crazy, especially because the topic was everybody’s favorite— HEALTH CARE.

Never mind the photo above. Your ShortsandPants took it on the way to “work” after said protest. There are pictures, and a VIDEO. Truly this was a spectacular morning (the fuckers started at 7:45 a.m.). Let’s get crackin’ on the action.

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By shortsshortsshorts, 15 October, 2009, 2 Comments

INSURANCE COMPANIES ON YOUR SIDE: “In an e-mail, one Guardian Life Insurance Co. executive called high-cost patients such as Mr. Pearl “dogs” that the company could ‘get rid of.’”

See! We don’t need to change anything!

“Does anyone really believe this Congress will let this government program go away if it has a constituency?”

By shortsshortsshorts, 1 October, 2009, 6 Comments

The statement above was made by everybody’s favorite lady-loving, letter writing Senator, John Ensign, in regards to this whole “health care” thing. The Las Vegas Sun wrote up a great little thing about it, but let’s get to the brass tax— John Ensign hates the idea of a public option because people will like it too much? Something is wrong here— which is why it’s time to spin the money wheel!

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