Posts tagged ‘Mass Hysteria’

John McCain’s Petition Quest

By shortsshortsshorts, 20 January, 2010, No Comment

Hello, everyone. Are you soaking wet? You should be.

As many of you know, occasionally your Shorts & Pants receives e-mails from the Walnuts bus. (If you do not know what Walnuts means, please click here.)

Anyway, as most of the people who read this little site are well aware, Scott Brown is your new Massachusetts Overlord. This was inevitable, of course, as his adversary was a twit, but many in the libtard community still believed that there was hope for America (there isn’t).

As a result of this, John McCain thought it would be just a FANTASTIC idea to spam the hell out of everybody with his fancy new idea— he is going to petition the SHIT out of this Nation. Alright Walnuts — take it away!

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MIKE HUCKABEE TO SAVE US ALL

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 November, 2009, 5 Comments

Nevermind the whore next to this post. This is the moment every American has waited for. You Euros who read the site (Analytics says it’s about half of you bastards) have no opinion over this stage of events. You do not understand the impact of Mike Huckabee, because he is very serious. But not only is he serious about being serious— he’s really fucking serious. We are very lucky in our altruistic agrarian Nation to have such a lad as Mike Huckabee running all over the fucking place gnashing his teeth and gritting at useless opportunities that only bring the apocalypse to the rest of us useless bastards. So he should probably run for President again— because of… Politico?

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The Hodge-Podge of Fuckery

By shortsshortsshorts, 16 October, 2009, 6 Comments

HERE IT IS! An account of the protests of October 15, 2009.

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There are moments in anybody’s life where you walk the line between the sane and insane — where putting yourself into a situation so full of bullshit might actually drag you into a less-then-noble cause that you didn’t even see coming. Imagine being surrounded by so many diametrically opposed view points that it’s hard to distinguish which side ANY of them were really on.

Many Tea Parties have been exactly that — “Tea Parties,” but as your Editor and his humble but genius friend experienced on that fateful evening of October 15, this is not always the case.

These people are fucking cannibals. They are nothing short of man-flesh-eating wombats sent from the Mayans to initiate the end of days. We dealt with more crazies than should ever be allotted to anybody for any period of time — and survived.

Any asshole with a mouth on their face had no problem telling you all about their cause. It is the most compelling argument against Freedom of Assembly that has ever been made.

This was a 5 tier protest. You had the Freepers (obviously) garbed with signs reading simply amazing things — but they were far from alone. Down the block, some even intermingled, were the anti-war people. They even had a band! (No I did not get a photo of that). All in all they were insane.

BUT WE CANNOT STOP THERE! Behind the anti-war protesters were the Global Warming folks. They were all wearing red tee-shirts and were honestly the laziest demonstrators your Editor has ever seen. They just stood around in a circle with their signs stating “STOP GLOBAL WARMING” strewn together against a concrete divide. It was sad.

Around the bend from the Global Warming people were the BEST 9/11 TRUTHERS EVER, covered with microphones and screaming things that sounded about as insanely powerful as The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Not only were they loud, they were armed with pamphlets and pandering like mad homeless dogs. Sound like fun? WELL HERE ARE THE PHOTOS (taken with a cell phone, of course.)

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