Posts tagged ‘Lawbreaking’

ACORN Will Get You the Tax Break— But THEY Will Get You the Guns

By shortsshortsshorts, 8 October, 2009, 4 Comments

ACORN is the most evil and nasty thing that has ever plagued society since the Third Reich. It is awful beyond any stretch of our feeble imaginations. When you invoke the term “ACORN,” a small part of Jesus dies away, as if you have taken the very thing he set out to do away from him.

There is no salvation when it comes to ACORN, as they are helping scores of the poor and lost to find themselves, which is terribly wrong. The criminal act of helping others to avoid the Tax Man is beyond reprehensible. We should shut the bastards down— immediately. But what do we give them if there is no economic basis for their survival?

HOW ABOUT GUNS!

Financial Sector Proves that it is Evil— Threaten to Sue Federal Government

By shortsshortsshorts, 23 March, 2009, 2 Comments

moneyRemember two weeks ago when AIG was saying that the money going to executives was a “contractual obligation” and they had no choice but to pay it? Surely they were being honest. After all, AIG is just as concerned as anyone else about fiscal responsibility in these trying economic times.

Well, it turns out that was all bullshit.

AIG Suing Federal Government Over Taxes

By shortsshortsshorts, 20 March, 2009, 1 Comment

Thanks FED!Sometimes the irony is just too much.  Literally, overwhelming. Just when public relations over at AIG could not have gotten any more SWIMMINGLY, the New York Times goes and publishes an article that makes AIG look worse than John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dommer, Dick Cheney and any number of Catholic popes, COMBINED:

An Entire County of Kentucky Rednecks Arrested for Voter Fraud

By shortsshortsshorts, 20 March, 2009, 1 Comment

Vote? What vote?Well boy howdy! How are you today, Clay County Kentucky? Corrupt? We thought so.

Twenty-three Companies Benefitting from TARP Have not Paid Taxes, Probably Because Ron Paul Said “Don’t”

By shortsshortsshorts, 19 March, 2009, 1 Comment

Thanks FED!There is nothing to justify it, and probably nothing to encumber an absence of criminal liability from the appearance, but it is true— many of the companies receiving bailout money look at their taxes with DISTRUST OF A CENTRALIZED GOVERNMENT THAT WILL SPEND IT ON, umm, them.

The scheme is simple- there is a Republican administration that thinks (wholeheartedly) that taxes cripple the ability for any company (ESPECIALLY FINANCE!!! YAY! ) to make money. Therefore, you cannot make them pay taxes, because that would be unconstitutional or something:

Furries Beware— Florida Considers Law Banning Bestiality

By shortsshortsshorts, 18 March, 2009, 3 Comments

These are inalienable rightsTragedy strikes Florida today as Lawmakers are considering voiding man of his inalienable right to fuck animals.

According to an article in The Miami Herald a bill was just passed through committee that would make it illegal to bang the hell out of your farm animals. This, is, of course, insane. The example cited displays it:

Thomas M. Finneran May Never Practice Law Again

By shortsshortsshorts, 13 March, 2009, 4 Comments

"Bush wouldn't pardon me :("Do you live in Massachusetts? If you do then Finneran must be a familiar face! He has quite an impressive record! He was Speaker of your State’s House of Representatives, he served as president of the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and he worked up a solid reputation in the last two years of being a repugnant, awful liar. What a fulfilled life!

More News from Texas— Do not be Dark Skinned in Texas

By shortsshortsshorts, 12 March, 2009, No Comment

Gimme yer moneyTexas is simply all over the place, today, as it is the most corrupt place on the planet. Even more than the Nixon administration. It seems their “lawmen” do not care for Constitutional rights. But why do they have to? After all, Texas has a provision advocating seizure of property from innocent people! Yay!

Uber L33t Obama Appointee Being Investigated By FBI

By Dana, 12 March, 2009, No Comment

FBI agents are currently searching the offices of the D.C. Office of the Chief Technology Officer, and have arrested Yusef Acar, an information systems security officer.  Acar used to work under Vivek Kundra, D.C.’s former Chief Technology Officer who was appointed as Federal CTO for the Obama Administration.

It is unclear what the FBI is looking for and the only real source of information about it is some guy on Twitter, but it can be assumed that “Vivek Kundra” is the hacker pseudonym that Keanu Reeves uses, and that Obama has appointed him to unravel The Matrix.  Stay Tuned.

FBI Raid, Lockdown at OCTO, One Judiciary Square (DCist)

Fallout from Abramoff— Ann Copland Pleads Guilty to Being Horrible Person

By shortsshortsshorts, 11 March, 2009, No Comment

"Welcome to Mississippi. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES."Ann Copland was a top aide to Senator Thad Cochran of Mississippi. She lived a semi-charmed life for many years; that is until she met known money-pimp and GOP/Cheney fall guy, Jack Abramoff.

Norm Coleman’s Campaign is Hacked— Breaks Laws to Avoid Pesky “Informing Donors” Statute in Minnesota

By shortsshortsshorts, 11 March, 2009, 2 Comments

Don't get any ideas, Republican friends. Besides, it's not even a boy. It can be assessed that most of our readers (according to “teh” Google Analytics) are from LIBERAL CENTERS OF DEGREDATION more progressive, urban areas. Therefore you probably didn’t give money to Norm Coleman. However, if you did, WELL YOU JUST GOT PWNED:

Comically Corrupt Vincent Fumo’s Life is (un)officially Over

By shortsshortsshorts, 5 March, 2009, 1 Comment

Free Robin Hood!Vincent Fumo is a former lawmaker from Philadelphia. Some of his hobbies include knitting, long walks on the beach, and using his aides for renovating his home (wait, what?)

Jim Cramer is Losing his Mind— Delusions Becoming More Obvious

By shortsshortsshorts, 4 March, 2009, 1 Comment

"Hey everyone, I will make you TONS of CASH."JIM CRAMER!!!!!1!!

JIM!!!1!

CRAMER!!!!11!

HE WILL MAKE YOU RICH! Obama will make you POOR!

Get Excited, America! Re-branding is Officially the New Deal

By shortsshortsshorts, 28 February, 2009, 2 Comments

ALTRIAYou know what’s brilliant?  Re-branding.  For instance, you could call it a bailout package, which implies the ship is sinking.  Or you can call it a rescue plan.  Re-branding is an effective way of boosting public perception and morale – and the Feds could take a lesson or two from the private sector.

A recently re-branded corporation is Xe.   Xe?  (Pronounced Zeeeeee – how uplifting! ) Sounds like some sort of tech start up from China.  Surely it cannot be associated with anything American at all really, much less the deaths of innocent Iraqi civilians  and Bush era wartime corruption.

Anyhoo, here is Xe:

Sheriff Arrested for Protecting Himself from the Recession

By shortsshortsshorts, 27 February, 2009, No Comment

nottinghamThere was once a time, many decades ago, when law enforcement was the hero of the town, bad guys were really bad, and everyone looked up to the man protecting them from EVIL DOERS.

Those days are now over, apparently, as Sheriff Charles W. Morris of Okaloosa County (where the hell is that, right?) was arrested on a warrent of being the most corrupt scum that has ever graced the orange-lined streets of a State named “Florida.”