Posts tagged ‘Ignorant Whores’

Glenn Beck: “I Am Currently Feasting On Paint Chips”

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 March, 2010, 4 Comments

Look at the GIGANTIC photo to the left. He is pointing at you and laughing, readers. Glenn Beck hates you, you see— but you shouldn’t worry about it. Anybody who says the following is obviously desperate for attention.

“I beg you, look for the words ’social justice’ or ‘economic justice’ on your church Web site. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. Now, am I advising people to leave their church? Yes!”

SOCIAL JUSTICE=COMMUNIST FASCISM. Yes. It is clear. The sheer idea of going against the grain of every normal human inclination is no match for Glenn Beck’s niche. Yes— true grit, that one. Who would be inclined to believe that Christian programs promoting “social justice” could be so evil? Well, friends, they are.

STOP GOING TO CHURCH, as Christians are filthy Communist bastards. The Lord Beck has spoken. You must worship him.

GOP Website— Finally Operational— Only $1.4 Million to Build!

By shortsshortsshorts, 27 October, 2009, 2 Comments

Websites are typically cheap to build and operate— even the most premium of web developers charges $150-$300/ hour to get a fancy site up and running. Take your ShortsandPants, for instance. It was designed by human hamsters for free, but at least we got the thing up and running— unlike the GOP. Their website was $1.4 MILLION, and the thing barely functioned from the very beginning. Here is your Editor’s favorite part of the broken site:

And when the GOP’s graphics-laden product was unveiled, many of the main sections appeared missing or broken, including one advertised as listing future party leaders, which showed up blank.

CONGRATULATIONS, future GOP leaders!

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Stunning Business Seminars

By shortsshortsshorts, 21 October, 2009, 3 Comments

October 26, 2009— it may seem like a normal day to you. You wake up, walk your albino dragon, eat a hearty agrarian breakfast and shower under a crown of thorns. Yes— just another day. You have no idea that somewhere in this Nation a band of fools is coming together to poison the minds of the innocent, with “business talk.” You must understand, this is not “business talk” between average Joes. This is the cream of the crop of utter failure, with George W. Bush at the helm. This is the GET MOTIVATED BUSINESS SEMINAR in Fort Worth, and it is all sorts of bad.

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Mrs. Palin Goes to Wikipedia— Learns All About Thatcher

By shortsshortsshorts, 14 October, 2009, 11 Comments

The Beast of Stupid continues her quest to find the center of the Oreo in an act of bravery unmatched since you woke up this morning to urinate. Yes— she is special. Let’s paste her “Facebook Note” from yesterday, October 13, 2009, in its entirety. AGAIN— chascates proves with his tips that he wants us all to suffer. So here comes the suffering:

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Whores— the Lot of Them

By shortsshortsshorts, 24 September, 2009, 3 Comments

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, John Boehner and Eric Cantor wrote a letter that is no longer accessible to us “human” types. This letter is critical of Michele Bachmann, apparently, but now it is gone! HMMM. But, according to the Minnesota Independent, it has been replaced with this:

What is the moral of this short story? We are represented by a gang of prostitutes, and nothing else. There are solicitations being performed not only in the streets of D.C., but inside the highest realms of power one can think of. What makes this even worse is the general American reaction that stating one position at 10:00 a.m. and completely reversing that position by 12:00 p.m. is actually acceptable to us. Isn’t that swell?

Fox News Informs Everyone of “EVIL-DOER” Opportunity, in Canada!

By shortsshortsshorts, 22 March, 2009, 2 Comments

Well here is something ludicrous and insane! It’s the show “Red Eye,” on Fox! And what do they have to share with us?

Canada is thinking about shutting down their military for re-organization! According to Fox, this is because they want to do “yoga” and “walk on the beach in their gorgeous white Capri pants.” You see, Fox News understands the truth about Canada, you can tell from the quote below:

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