Joe the Plumber, a man who has endured great amounts of adversity from the McCain family, would like to share something with you.
“McCain was trying to use me,” Wurzelbacher said, according to public radio correspondent Scott Detrow. “I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.”
How did he not know this? Is it really that hard to understand? Well at least he came around to it eventually, maybe.
Frequent contributor “Butch” stumbled across something of vast importance this morning. We say “stumbled” because that is apparently what Michael Steele and Sean Hannity have been doing for far too long. Why does Michael Steele only admit this information now?
STEELE: That’s the first step to getting well. And it occurred to me that this really is a step-by-step process. It is taking some baby steps initially. But it really starts with taking your head out of your navel and paying ahead and looking to the…
HANNITY: Some people might use another term.
As you can see— Hannity is still in a bit of denial. Luckily, however, Michael Steele will admit his plight:
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Hello, Tea Party Heroes. Are you fed up with not being emergency prepared? TEA BAG IT. That’s the plan for everything, isn’t it?
There is an exciting convention coming up. This will be a turning moment for all mankind. We will embrace our third party friends and exalt them to overlord status. It is written.
Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska (2006-2009) and the 2008 Republican Vice Presidential Nominee will be the guest of honor and keynote speaker.
WELL TICKLE ME SIDEWAYS, Tea Baggers. Sarah Palin is your unofficial leader. How about the TOPICS of this AMAZING convention?
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Your ShortsandPants — a Blog about guns and war — has a fantastic suggestion for this Holiday season! Instead of conventional gifts, which show clearly that you aren’t putting a lot of “thought” into it, why not buy your loved ones the gift for ALL seasons — the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank.
Yes, fill them with shock and awe as they enter its roomy cabin and declare themselves a sovereign Nation. 
It has everything you want! It’s 6 horsepower engine comes with a centrifuged clutch, so this puppy can get up to 40 mph as you mow down your neighbors with all the ammo God intended man to have.
Just imagine the excitement of entering the cockpit, where you and a friend can ravenously spray whatever you want at WHOEVER you want (Disclaimer: It’s for recreational use only — *wink*.)
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Pat Robertson is one evil motherfucker. That is an a priori to this post. If you do not believe this fact, stop reading from here.
Why is this woman on the Twitter? Is her soul purpose in life to ruin her father’s career? HAMID IS GOING TO DIE IF WE ARE NOT THERE, guiding him all the way. That, or he will leave his homeland for some better looking galaxy. Either way, Meghan McCain wins the Nobel Peace Prize for Wednesday, December 2, 2009. Congratulations, Meghan.
Right! So your Editor was provided this thing from “viyh” earlier today that suggests a Neighborhood Network Watch orchestrated by some strange offshoot of the DHS. While we LOVE the DHS, your Editor sent this link to about 10 people, and it was finally discovered through other resourceful means that it was a sort of satire. Why does satire hate humanity so much? We present to you this thing, for your review.
As it turns out, this “shadow Neighborhood watch” is nothing more than a gang of New York artists trying to get their Grad degrees. While your ShortsandPants greatly despises higher education — or even any education for that matter — we must embrace this new thing called “satire” that all the kids are talking about these days.
Don’t worry readers, we are still the most patriotic website in the Nation. We just took a break to let these liberal bastards deceive us all. The laptop you see by going here is not a real snapshot from a God Fearing Neighbor, but rather a POWERBOOK from the same people who attempted to sway us all from the Lord’s truth by manipulating a populace into believing the Government was encouraging us all to spy on one another. Most God Fearing Neighbor’s use Windows, right? Still, it didn’t hit us until now.
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“King Birther,” as we have so lovingly referred to him since this site’s inception, has always been QUESTIONED over his origins. While many of these issues have been sorted out, the strongest question still remains— is Lou Dobbs a Mess’ican?
Now the man who hated the ‘illegals is coming out for immunity. Which means nothing makes sense in this post-Thanksgiving America. Save yourself while you still have the chance. WORLD NUT DAILY INVESTIGATES:
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The miraculous movement started in 1999 to destroy the Republican Party, somehow, has gained quite a bit of tread in the last year. This is an unexplainable anomaly, as The Club For Growth believes essentially the same thing as the GOP. The difference? THEY ARE THE NEW, IMPROVED GOP. Just look at what they did for Doug Hoffman! He was actually the “front-runner” of the right in New York’s 23rd Congressional District election, all because of The Club For Growth.
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California has been nothing but Fat City for the last 6 years. It was in 2003, when the State (Karl Rove) installed a robot-human into the Governor’s Mansion who was supposed to lead us out of the so-called “despair” that a Democrat had caused. We were pissed about budget delays and “too much Government,” which is a nice segway into the clusterfuck caused by a burly Austrian. This Austrian has broken many proud records, such as the Record for Longest Delay in Securing a Budget (3 times), and the coveted Record for Simultaneously Breaking the Record of Greatest Deficit While Still Being Able to Cut Most State Services.
With the example this Republican has made for the Golden State, it would make more sense to cut off your own limbs than to elect a Republican in 2010. BUT, somehow we will do it. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Meg Whitman.
Do you love gambling? Even better— do you like gambling to lose? Wall Street sure as hell does! Obviously we all know this, because the system, as it is set up, is doomed to fail.
This is old news, even to the laymen. Everybody, whether on the right or left, ran around all over the place holding signs high in the air and screaming loudly for no reason at all. At least we thought we had a reason though, as that is all that matters to our generally dim-witted way of life. No matter what we all believed to be true, the system didn’t change— and it deserves a little overview. Let’s explore, one and all! Make sure you break out the bourbon. This is a depressing picture.
So Barack Obama is throwing all kinds of money all over the place in some kind of attempt to save the US/World economy, right? The numbers are staggering, and quite simply just too big to possibly even try to quantify. $1 Trillion sure does seem like a lot of money. For instance, if you had $50 in your bank account, $1 trillion would be significantly more than that. The fact of the matter is that the amount of money being spent by our government is actually too large for the average human to understand in any kind of meaningful, dignified way. It would be so helpful if someone would try to tell us how much money $1 trillion is, literally.
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You know what’s brilliant? Re-branding. For instance, you could call it a bailout package, which implies the ship is sinking. Or you can call it a rescue plan. Re-branding is an effective way of boosting public perception and morale – and the Feds could take a lesson or two from the private sector.
A recently re-branded corporation is Xe. Xe? (Pronounced Zeeeeee – how uplifting! ) Sounds like some sort of tech start up from China. Surely it cannot be associated with anything American at all really, much less the deaths of innocent Iraqi civilians and Bush era wartime corruption.
Anyhoo, here is Xe:
