Posts tagged ‘Holidays’

Tuesday Fun Post: Walmart Bingo Edition

By shortsshortsshorts, 15 December, 2009, 2 Comments

This should help you get through your Christmas shopping — as we all know that Every Single Reader of ShortsandPants shops at Walmart.

Disturbing Artifacts of the War On Christmas

By shortsshortsshorts, 11 December, 2009, 1 Comment

“Memzilla” sends this horrifying Christmas Ornament for your torment and self-deprecating review. MERRY CHRISTMAS (in 2 weeks).

Stocking Stuffers (The Friday Fun Post)

By shortsshortsshorts, 4 December, 2009, 2 Comments

Your ShortsandPants — a Blog about guns and war — has a fantastic suggestion for this Holiday season! Instead of conventional gifts, which show clearly that you aren’t putting a lot of “thought” into it, why not buy your loved ones the gift for ALL seasons — the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank.

Yes, fill them with shock and awe as they enter its roomy cabin and declare themselves a sovereign Nation. 51FBH0ARF2L._SS400_ It has everything you want! It’s 6 horsepower engine comes with a centrifuged clutch, so this puppy can get up to 40 mph as you mow down your neighbors with all the ammo God intended man to have.41SJSG8A0VL._SS400_ Just imagine the excitement of entering the cockpit, where you and a friend can ravenously spray whatever you want at WHOEVER you want (Disclaimer: It’s for recreational use only — *wink*.)

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Your Essential “War On Christmas” Watch List

By shortsshortsshorts, 30 November, 2009, 1 Comment

“StandforChristmas.com” has compiled a list of retailers who aren’t Jesus enough for your sweet Holiday money-dollars. They have posted this, on the Internet. Yes— that is where it is.

As most of us Americans are fully engaged in this meaningless agenda, we encourage all of you to check out percentages, such as this!

“           Retailer                       Friendly   Negligent  Offensive

American Eagle Outfitters 27%        9%            64%”

While these numbers come from some unknown source and are patent bullshit— it is still important to share. No work from the War on Hanukkah people yet but are sure they’re around— somewhere.

Happy Thanksgiving

By shortsshortsshorts, 26 November, 2009, 5 Comments

Your Editor is hidden in some compound in Eastern California, which is why we must impress the truth about Thanksgiving — it was all the Euro’s fault. Despite the lack of correlation between those “actual” Punic Wars and the modern thing we all refer to as “Thanksgiving,” we must all be thankful that no Americans died in this battle of ancient barbarity.

The point of all of this is that Your Editor will be out of commission as your ShortsandPants bequests to find the meaning of it all. Sacrifices will be made in the sake of this Great Holiday, and for that, we thank the…pilgrims?

EAT YOUR TURKEY. Did we mention guns and war?