Posts tagged ‘Fakery and Lies’

Finally— An Article From CBN That Makes Your Shorts & Pants Seem Well Written

By shortsshortsshorts, 26 March, 2010, No Comment

Do you see the angry Christian to the left? Yes— he was one angry Christian.

Apparently there are a number of angry Christians. They are so very angry that it appears the ability to write things has just gone out the window. Dear God— they know not what they do. Therefore we mustn’t blame them for the following, repetitive, grammatical mistakes.

It would be one thing to just talk about what was tipped to us, but that’s not even possible when you consider the following. The great James Delingpolem shall explain:

“I’ve seen America’s future because what is happening in America now has been happening in Britain for at least the last 12 years,” Delingpolem said. “I’ve seen my country pretty much ruined by what is essentially a socialist administration, presented by this plausible likable guy (former Prime Minister Tony Blair).

Your humble Editor has never been a fan of the “Christian Broadcasting Network.” After all, any place that Pat Robertson resides is allegedly steeped in hell-fire. Therefore it brings us great joy to talk about a horrible PLANT. Yes, dear readers, a PLANT. It is a PLANT by Britain to watch citizens closely and all of that (or is it? ONLY CBN KNOWS!)

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We Must Repeal Laws That Don’t Exist Yet

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 March, 2010, 2 Comments

After all of these years of Health Care reform ruining our Nation and turning us into an angry breed of socialist scum hell-bent on destroying all that is right and true in the world, National Review would like to share with you the solution to this terrible thing that has gripped all persons in fear and dismay for far too long. Let’s repeal the thing. Never mind if no measure of law has been enacted. We must act.

This is a true advancement for us all.

“The Case for Repeal” is the name of the column in which we speak of. This thing is full of glorious tidbits unmatched by the best of minds. Newton, Socrates and the like could never have matched the wit of the great Rich Lowry, Editor of National Review, who has this to share with you.

If Pelosi somehow succeeds, Democrats will tell themselves they’ve finally attained a goal that has eluded them since Truman. But it won’t be over.

Alright, so Rich begins with a very strong statement. “IT WONT BE OVER.” Surely this article will be about Health Care Reform. Yes. It is beyond any doubt that Rich will go off about the subject in the headline.

In terms of the Iraq War, it will be the toppling–the–Saddam Hussein–statue phase of the operation, with more combat still in the offing.

What, Rich? That’s not Health Care. Now you’re talking about Iraq. That doesn’t make any sense, Rich. Are you off the meds?

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There Still Is But One News Outlet That Cares About Tea Baggers

By shortsshortsshorts, 8 January, 2010, 6 Comments

Unfortunately no one else on planet “earth” agrees with FoxNews’ very ACCURATE prediction for 2010. Somewhere, in some alternate universe, there are Tea Baggers winning elections. Hope springs eternal.

Senator Jim Demint Enjoys Lying Unabashedly On Major News Outlets

By shortsshortsshorts, 5 January, 2010, No Comment

If you look at the photo to the left, you will see one of America’s Most Beloved Bullshitters. Yes — Jim Demint is a real catch, ladies and gentlemen. While we typically avoid covering anything that nears the caliber of noble that Demint represents, we thought today would be a wonderful chance to address this amazing beast of lies.

So the man goes on CNN and actually has the chutzpa to claim that Obama has NEVER EVER said the word terrorism, as it is probably our President’s prerogative that all United States citizens die a horrible, tragic, and therefore fulfilling death for our Muslim, Kenyan, Hawaiian-born, Chicagoan world leader.

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Glenn Beck To America: “Lying To You Causes Me Great Pleasure”

By shortsshortsshorts, 17 December, 2009, 3 Comments

WINDBAGS! We love them. Apparently, a bunch of righty blogs, including freakish human Michelle Malkin, were throwing around rumors about how Senator Ben Nelson is being threatened with domestic terrorism if he does not vote for health care reform by closing down Nebraska’s Offutt Air Force Base, which would make for some fairly angry Nebraskans, we imagine.Luckily, this rumor was denied by just about every government official no earth. However, this is of no consequence to KING WINDBAG, Mr. Glenn Beck. Take it away, Glenn! It’s TREASON TIME:

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Interesting Websites

By shortsshortsshorts, 5 November, 2009, 1 Comment

The Health Care bill has been getting a lot of guff over its proposed use of DEATH PANELS, which we are all painfully aware is written all over the damn thing. That is why there are incredible places to learn all about killing the bill that wants to kill your grandmother. It is entitled “don’tkillgrandma.com,” a magical place where photos, such as the one in this post, dissuade the evil Liberal anti-Nazi bill from coming into fruition. They point out that Communism has killed millions of people in the last century. It fails, however, to identify how many people Universal Health Care has killed in the last 50 years. Surely it is BILLIONS of people, because that is the complaint we hear all the time from the Canadians and the Dutch and the English and Whoever else has such a plan.

To wit:

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Questionable Journalism

By shortsshortsshorts, 7 October, 2009, 3 Comments

There is nothing more refreshing then unsubstatiated claims from unreliable sources to start your day off right— and Anne Leary, the writer for “Backyard Conservative” understands this. It is, after all, a stunningly accurate news source that contains headlines such as Will Obama Deny Bill Ayers’ Accusation? and Palin is Tweaking You, Lefties. Clearly there is absolutely no reason for somebody like “Anne Leary” to fudge a conversation with Bill Ayers that she had in some lonely airport in D.C. where Bill Ayers allegedly claimed he wrote “Dreams From My Father,” a terrible book written by our Socialist President.

This woman’s lies are gathering tread, of course, as they are now ruining the minds of the many in such places as HotAir and Lucianne— two of the most reliable websites known to mankind.

Here is how the tip came to us, from David.

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Arch-Commander Barack Van ObamaStein

By shortsshortsshorts, 6 October, 2009, 3 Comments

Sources at NewsMax have an amazing scoop that WILL NOT be ignored by the Main Stream Media. You see, there is a black man running around Washington D.C. acting like he’s the “Commander-in-Chief” of our armed forces. Everybody knows that since January 20, 2009 there is no such thing as a Commander-in-Chief, and NewsMax would like to elaborate on this key change to the United States Constitution. Apparently when a President attempts to influence the armed forces, he is not only a bully, but a dictator. To wit:

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John McCain Compares the United States With the ‘Other Georgia’

By shortsshortsshorts, 30 September, 2009, 2 Comments

“Today, we are all Georgians.”

We do not know what this senile man is talking about, but perhaps you do! Perhaps there are theories, which we are compelled to discuss, as is our patriotic duty.

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Get Excited, America! Re-branding is Officially the New Deal

By shortsshortsshorts, 28 February, 2009, 2 Comments

ALTRIAYou know what’s brilliant?  Re-branding.  For instance, you could call it a bailout package, which implies the ship is sinking.  Or you can call it a rescue plan.  Re-branding is an effective way of boosting public perception and morale – and the Feds could take a lesson or two from the private sector.

A recently re-branded corporation is Xe.   Xe?  (Pronounced Zeeeeee – how uplifting! ) Sounds like some sort of tech start up from China.  Surely it cannot be associated with anything American at all really, much less the deaths of innocent Iraqi civilians  and Bush era wartime corruption.

Anyhoo, here is Xe:

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Sheriff Arrested for Protecting Himself from the Recession

By shortsshortsshorts, 27 February, 2009, No Comment

nottinghamThere was once a time, many decades ago, when law enforcement was the hero of the town, bad guys were really bad, and everyone looked up to the man protecting them from EVIL DOERS.

Those days are now over, apparently, as Sheriff Charles W. Morris of Okaloosa County (where the hell is that, right?) was arrested on a warrent of being the most corrupt scum that has ever graced the orange-lined streets of a State named “Florida.”

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For the Conservatives, Black is the New White

By shortsshortsshorts, 27 February, 2009, 1 Comment

BUY THIS NOW. Sup yo. How are your conservative homies, gangsta?

Have you had to pull out your nine this week to cap some punk-bitch? Yes? WELL THAN YOU ARE A REPUBLICAN:

Alas! A new meme has crawled from the dusty man-orifice that is CPAC, but it didn’t come from a man! It came from Michelle Bachmann:

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Whiskey before Breakfast

By Reuben, 26 February, 2009, No Comment

“When the glass is full drink up, drink up.  This may be the last time we see this cup.  If god wanted us sober, he’d knock the glass over, so while it is full, drink up.”

Which means if you’re not already drunk, then you’ve definitely missed out. The good news is that thanks to our fake economy, more and more people have extra time to spend drinking (thus the post title).  Yes, the recent newly minted class of millionaires can finally celebrate (drown sorrows) at almost any part of the day.

So the destitute remenants of an economy built on lies lost another 667,000 jobs. To crunch the numbers, that means over the last three months we’ve lost about 2 million jobs from a total labor pool of about 130 million, or 1.5% total.  If we keep that up, that means we lose 6% of the total labor force in one year.  Where once I was drunk, now I am sober. And the economy claims another victim…