Pat Robertson is a flaming pile of swine-sucking majesty. He has numerous opinions of things, and for some reason remains popular among our Nation’s finest citizens. He would like to share his latest REVELATION with you, which is despicable. You see, if those silly Haitians hadn’t made a deal with Satan 150 years ago, everything would be just DANDY.
“True story. And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’” Robertson said. “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”
SPOT ON, PAT.
Does Pat plan on donating any humanitarian aide to a Country in shambles? We can only assume not. After all, when you’re the devil in the flesh there is no need to mingle in the affairs of mere “mortals.”
Never again will your Christmas be Merry. Never again will you make sweet love under the mistletoe. All of your hopes, dreams and ambitions will cease. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. This is the end of days.
Your ShortsandPants is a pacifist website. We seek peace in all things. We wish to meet our quotas and be favored by the Politburo. If we satisfy the supreme leader, we are doing good works. While we toil in the fields, we know that we contribute to the needs of our brothers in arms. We do not complain when our bounty is thin, because we know the homeland will provide for us. We have no issue setting aside our capitalist desires, as they are merely empty and full of greed. 
For centuries Canada has been lurking in the shadows. Most of the world didn’t pay very much attention to it. It seemed like a place full of content, friendly people— the type of place with relatively progressive ideals, a fairly informed populace, and a lack of animosity towards other sovereign nations. We have been friendly to our Canadian neighbors. Nobody in the United States would ever expect the truth— that Canada wishes to kill us all.
“This is basically what Goldman Sachs 
What is this? Did Bill Kristol pen his finest work? Yes— in that his finest work is absolute crap. For example, this is what our tipster wrote:
Jesus said the headline, above. 
It’s the time of the year for dressing up like an idiot and feeling “cool” about it! Everyone is very excited about this prospect, except for a few angry Christians, who bequest to discover the EVIL ROOTS of the pagan Holiday that is Halloween. You see, there is no Jesus associated with Halloween, unlike the pagan Holiday of Christmas— therefore Halloween must end.
The statement above was made by everybody’s favorite lady-loving, 
Ladies and gentleman— we have an announcement. This website will be paying the bill and going into the 
Are public opinions— you know— PUBLIC opinions, Socialist? It would appear so. As this website has been saying for quite a while, a majority of Americans still want a public option— you know— a PUBLIC option. When groups of Conservatives are polled, as 
