Posts tagged ‘Climate Change’

Arguably Despotic Leaders Chime In On Climate Change — Various Quotes of the Day Ensue

By shortsshortsshorts, 18 December, 2009, No Comment

(DISCLAIMER: THERE IS A LINK TO JONAH GOLDBERG IN THIS POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

Robert Mugabe! He is one crazy mother-shut ‘yo mouth, correct? Mugabe likes to take the center stage whenever possible. Along with Hugo Chavez, Ms. Kim Johg Il, and Mahmoud Achma*(@&#@#$, you are assured years of hilarity to come.

Take Copenhagen for example. It’s all about climate change this week, and world leaders are getting together to have their voices heard. Share with us, Mr. Mugabe, what the effects of climate change are in your eyes:

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Sarah Palin Addresses Her Followers: “I Am Full Of Shit. Do Not Listen To Me”

By shortsshortsshorts, 10 December, 2009, No Comment

Guess who is all over the news touting her hate for “climategating” scientists and their (not) falsified data? WHY, SARAH PALIN OF COURSE. First— we need a little background.

Sarah Palin has been masquerading herself in various ways— such as here and here, trying to push the FACTS. As Palin cannot claim to be an expert on anything but child-bearing, it seems a bit odd that barbie is now interjecting into the climate change debate.

We cannot blame her for trying to form an opinion, however. Sarah Palin is so very smart. The problem arises with her memory loss.

LET’S SPIN THE MEMORY WHEEL:

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Climate Change Legislation Will Kill Off Puppies— Kittens Also On Notice

By shortsshortsshorts, 7 December, 2009, 1 Comment

GOPers: EPA Finding Threatens Kittens, Plants

But… but… KITTENS? Anything but KITTENS!

The Republican Study Committee has a very important message for you:

Every day, over 6 billion humans and an untold number of puppies, kittens, and other animals produce large quantities of this ubiquitous gas. Should they be required to stop breathing? And every day, trees, flowers, shrubs, and other flora use carbon dioxide to sustain their own existence. Liberals are supposedly more plant-friendly than the rest of us, so why would they try to limit a gas that is essential for plant life? If the rainforests could speak, would they be stunned by this betrayal?

Ruminate on this, readers. The rain forest will be destroyed by efforts to save the environment, and of course the puppies and kittens will be massacred— daily.

Climate Change Summit to Single-Handedly Melt Ice Caps

By shortsshortsshorts, 7 December, 2009, No Comment

As our world leaders become more environmentally conscience at the Wonderful Copenhagen Climate Summit, we must remember that sacrifices must be made by all in order to combat global warming. That is why our best and brightest are doing their part in reducing any impact— and every front.

Let’s take this for an example. The headline reads “Copenhagen climate summit: 1,200 limos, 140 private planes and caviar wedges.” See? There are REQUIREMENTS for making the earth a better place— such as proper transportation. There is no point in talking about our world’s hopeless future when you have to spare such things as “expenses” and “environmentally detrimental practices.” No, readers. The climate is more important than that.

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David Vitter Fears For Your Future

By shortsshortsshorts, 11 November, 2009, 2 Comments

GLOBAL WARMING ES SERIES BIZNIZZ, according to David Vitter, who somehow or another figured out FAKTS of varying degrees about what the Climate Change bill would do to this fine Nation of ours. He believes that it would give Obama total dictatorial control. If you thought melting ice caps was an issue before, well David Vitter has a message for you: “I am lying and referencing things that don’t exist.” Thanks for the gospel, David. The Washington Independent— you know, the D.C. paper that’s not part of a religious cult, has cited the section of the bill that Vitter is distressed when calling his various adult services agents:

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