Dear readers— your Shorts & Pants has received an omen this morning from every tip received today. It is that Christians… yes CHRISTIANS… are being punished by every facet of humanity. This is a terrible occurrence, and your Editor won’t stand for it. No no. It’s time for a Christian Roundup. We must expose the TROOF behind these lies. Yes, that. Let’s do that. Sure.
First of all we here of this group of Christian Militants desiring to kill a peace officer in Florida. While this may seem to be a straight forward case of “insanity,” Christian News Wire would like to give you another take. In fact, as Christian News Wire points out— they are the victims in this debacle. It may be that religion has spawned multiple wars and killed millions of people for the last 6,000 years (as the world is only 6,000 years of age), but a few bad apples shouldn’t spoil the lot. Dr. Gary Cass of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission would like to articulate this point to you.
“Even if they identify themselves as Christians, what they were allegedly planning is absolutely contrary to Christianity. They may have illicitly co-opted the Christian faith to justify their murderous intentions, but it is defamatory for the media to keep referring to them as Christians. They are simply terrorists.”
You may interpret this in any way you see fit, but my own interpretation is that Christians are terrorists. WHAT TO DO WITH THESE CHRISTIAN TERRORISTS? OH SWEET GOD.
Moving on.
Do you see the angry Christian to the left? Yes— he was one angry Christian. 
Recently we mentioned that 
Haha you pro-life people are such jerks sometimes. There was some blasted initiative in Nevada that 
Pat Robertson is 
What to do in our modern society? How do we react to these changing times? There are “gay people,” and they are Republican? How did this come about? Apparently there are a few people in the world with very little self perception. This is common. We cannot blame them for it, but we can still ridicule them — and that is the subject, good readers! Just how do you know — IF YOUR CONGRESSMAN IS GAY?
Faith2Action is currently 
Alright, religious people— enough is enough. We’ve been poking fun about this Christmas stuff for awhile, but you are getting a little bit insane. Are Christians experiencing a rare sort of paranoia? Everything is “THEY ARE TRYING TO GET US” and “BEING CHRISTIAN IS LIKE BEING BLACK.” Now it’s
Here’s something that should make the heathen-blood boil! His name is Kenneth L. Hutcherson, and he wrote a thing that is just RANDY, we tell you. 
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A study was done about fat bastards! It turns out they are numerous, and that 80% of them are in the South and Appalachian Mountains. What does that say about southerners, 
It’s that time of the year, again! The time when the American Family Association, in conjunction with Fox News, makes all of their sweet cash dollars! It’s around Christmas time, after all, that the AFA gets most of their donations. The reason? THE LIBERALS HATE THE CHRISTMAS. Now, 
It is commonplace in our Nation to appoint “Judges” to various Courts. In fact, for the last 225 years this process has gone relatively unabated. BUT THINGS CAN CHANGE!
