Posts tagged ‘Alaska’

Sarah Palin Does Not Rule Out 2012 Bid

By , 15 January, 2010, 2 Comments

This post will be written entirely in Sarah Palin dialect.
“Hey guys! Guess what! I AM A FILTHY WHORE. I WANT PENISES INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL OF THE TIME.

Ha ha, just kidding:

I’m not closing the doors and that is great because I said I would work for FOX News but not so I can use them as a mouth piece for my 2012 Presidential bid which gives me a greater advantage over mean ‘ol Barack Obama Alaska and Russia and all of them!”

Right, Sarah. Here’s what she actually said (it isn’t far off):

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Sarah Palin Addresses Her Followers: “I Am Full Of Shit. Do Not Listen To Me”

By , 10 December, 2009, No Comment

Guess who is all over the news touting her hate for “climategating” scientists and their (not) falsified data? WHY, SARAH PALIN OF COURSE. First— we need a little background.

Sarah Palin has been masquerading herself in various ways— such as here and here, trying to push the FACTS. As Palin cannot claim to be an expert on anything but child-bearing, it seems a bit odd that barbie is now interjecting into the climate change debate.

We cannot blame her for trying to form an opinion, however. Sarah Palin is so very smart. The problem arises with her memory loss.

LET’S SPIN THE MEMORY WHEEL:

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Sarah Palin Does Not Know How to Read— Which is Why She Should Run For President

By , 24 November, 2009, 3 Comments

It’s Margaret and Tucker Carlson! Tucker, the network Nomad who cant seem to hold a job, or “black sheep” pundit if you will — goes off about how Sarah Palin is about as “smart” as “Al Gore.” Granted, everybody in this video agrees that Barack Obama is a knuckle-dragging retard, but Margaret explains it best.

“Sarah Palin doesn’t know how to read. You see, I had to read the paper this morning. Sarah Palin doesn’t do that. She does not read anything — not books or newspapers — but NOTHING. She just kinda THROWS THINGS OUT THERE, and therefore she is incredibly smart. Sing praises to her.”

While this may not equate to anything more then “two crappy pundits lying,” it is still noteworthy that Obama is a raging retard in these people’s minds, while Sarah Palin — while illiterate — is clearly the leader our Nation desires.

The Important Issues

By , 23 November, 2009, 4 Comments

Picture 16 There is something magical about British tabloid editorials, isn’t there? We are mystified.

Sarah Palin Complains (again)

By , 17 November, 2009, 4 Comments

Who to blame? WHO. TO. BLAME? Sarah thinks it’s Newsweek’s fault now, as they are sexist.

It absolutely has nothing to do with the cover story for this week’s edition:

“How Do You Solve A Problem Like Sarah? She’s bad news for the GOP – and for everybody else too.”

Anyway— sexism! Leave Sarah alone!!

Sarah Palin Will Not Have Any of This “Complaining” Nonsense

By , 16 November, 2009, 3 Comments

Sarah Palin’s quest to teach us the basic value of her character and moral virtue comes in various forms in her terrible book WHICH SHAN’T BE NAMED HERE. Basically, she lies. We do not believe she is aware of said lies, because she didn’t really write the book, but she may have wanted to read it before it went to copy.

Come jump on the Inconsistency Express, now leaving Wasilla Station! Media Matters sheds light on this awful mess.

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ALASKA!

By , 22 October, 2009, 2 Comments

Alaska— a State founded on Democratic principles in late August of 2008, when Sarah Palin became Vice Presidential candidate and the place shot into significance. You see, nobody really cared about Alaska before last year, but now it appears to be a hotbed of politics and information that wasn’t possible to foresee. Scores of readers have flocked to Alaskan newspapers, and scores more hail the sweet underbelly of Palin thunder that rages through every American household. We love Alaska now— and all because of America’s Greatest Sweetheart.

Never mind that she may be a sociopath. This is GOOD FOR THE STATE. Before Palin, only Ted Stevens held any credit, or perhaps that moron from Into the Wild— but he is dead, so there.

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Mrs. Palin Goes to Wikipedia— Learns All About Thatcher

By , 14 October, 2009, 11 Comments

The Beast of Stupid continues her quest to find the center of the Oreo in an act of bravery unmatched since you woke up this morning to urinate. Yes— she is special. Let’s paste her “Facebook Note” from yesterday, October 13, 2009, in its entirety. AGAIN— chascates proves with his tips that he wants us all to suffer. So here comes the suffering:

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