Posts tagged ‘Abortion’

Tragic Consequences

By shortsshortsshorts, 12 March, 2010, 1 Comment

Neal Horsley, a long time friend of Your Shorts&Pants is getting a bit into some hot water. Our thoughts must be with him at this time. Your Editor has spoken to him on numerous occasions— like when we started the mini-meme of “vote for Neal Horsley for Governor.” Ah— the good ‘ol days.

No— things have changed for Neal. Apparently there is some RIDICULOUS law against making death threats against people you disagree with. Neal is now an alleged domestic terrorist. Way to go, Neal!

John, a part-time Atlantan, raised the ire of Horsley last month when he told an interviewer that he believed that Jesus was a homosexual.
Horsley, 65, responded with an Internet diatribe on “Why Elton John Must Die.”

Yes, Neal— you really screwed the pooch on this one. Currently he’s on house arrest in South Carolina. Neal is hopefully still able to perform his weekly webcast— but we somehow doubt it at this time. Even if he can, it might be a good idea for him to stay from the Internet for awhile. That’s just this humble Editor’s opinion, however. NEAL FOR GOVERNOR OF GEORGIA AND BABIES ALSO!!11!!

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Threw Him Away Like a Piece of Garbage

By AustinJunkie, 29 January, 2010, 3 Comments

Last May deranged psychopath Scott Roeder pathetically gunned down the late-term abortion-providing Dr. George Tiller while Tiller was serving as an usher at his church.

Leaving aside how it’s always men who perpetrate these crimes, that Roeder’s justification was “If I didn’t do it, the babies were going to die the next day,” (notice the impersonal “the babies,” this guy was programmed like a robot) or the fact that Roeder had been planning to kill Tiller for ten years.

No. Just remember that this sad, deluded individual was actually mentally ill. But, instead of recognizing this obvious fact and helping him, the bloodthirsty, selfish media whores (all men) who make up the radical, violent anti-abortion sect saw fit instead to stoke his paranoia, to use him, to throw away his life in the service of their own agenda.

These are people who claim to value life above all else, yet they tossed this man in the garbage with no regard for his life, or that of Dr. Tiller. Such wonderful people, those caring Christian fanatics.

Happy Friday!

Sneaky Pro-Life Fanatics Lose Yet Another Attempt At Being Sneaky

By shortsshortsshorts, 12 January, 2010, 4 Comments

Haha you pro-life people are such jerks sometimes. There was some blasted initiative in Nevada that sought to say the following:

The Nevada Personhood initiative proposed to amend the state Constitution by defining a person and extending due process rights from the beginning of biological development through end of life. The petition does not specifically mention abortion, but says its intent is to codify “the inalienable right to life for everyone, young or old, healthy or ill, conscious or unconscious, born or unborn.”

Sneaky bastards! This is their way of doing things, apparently. Various states have enacted parental notification laws, and various others are currently entrenched in utter warfare over the “definition of a person.” Well how would you define a person, reader? It seems pretty fucking obvious to your Editor what a “person” is, but not so for the “Nevada Personhood” folks. Luckily, they have failed miserably, once again.

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MAP DAY: Abortion— The Bible Belt Just Loves It

By shortsshortsshorts, 10 December, 2009, 3 Comments

Hey kids! Do you love abortion? Well— the thing is, and to be quite frank— your ShortsandPants just HAPPENS to be a pro-choice website. Now, this may come as a surprise to many of you (as we firmly reject “science”), but we must give in at one point or another. BUT as you can see, we aren’t the only ones who support abortion! Do you know who else does? RED STATES! That’s right— Map Day provides yet another reason why our country is full of mouth-breathing freaks.

If only our youth learned to Saddleback— these abortions wouldn’t be necessary.

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

By shortsshortsshorts, 8 December, 2009, No Comment

Sometimes we get some real humdingers.

Post-Abortion Pain May be Driving Attacks on Pro-Life Stalwart Sarah Palin


YES! That is what it is! Thank you, Life News.

In a nation that has lost more than 50 million children to abortion, we have millions of women who have these repressed feelings. Many have suffered silently from these negative consequences since their abortion.

You see, Sarah Palin is a result of millions of women’s repressed feelings. May the facts be known. LifeNews suggests that failure begets hate upon the white-washed innocence of the Palin— who incidentally isn’t much of a pro-life hawk herself— BUT WHATEVER.

Have You Never Been Mellow?

By AustinJunkie, 10 November, 2009, 4 Comments

Jake Tapper has never been mellow. Not for him an audience with the president of the United States where he just talks about the boring stuff — like will 45,000 people a year continue to die because they don’t have health insurance?

Where have you gone, Olivia?

Who cares, right? Not not-mellow Jake, that’s for sure. He knows the real question real red-blooded Americans want the answer to is: will they go to jail if they don’t buy health insurance?

Win/Lose, Live/Die, Jail/No Jail — real Americans only understand absolutes — black and white, communism or capitalism, boxers or briefs.

The President said that he didn’t think the question over the appropriateness of possible jail time is the “biggest question” the House and Senate are facing right now. (Shhh…don’t tell Jake.)

But if you don’t penalize freeloaders with jail time then the obvious outcome will be free insurance for all the slackers, followed by the rebuilding of the Berlin Wall and finally communism sweeping across America until we’re all performing free abortions in gulags run by Nancy Pelosi and Stenny Hoyer!

Who will save us from the abortion gulags? Jake Tapper? Save us, Jake, you’re our only hope! (Hat tip to notorious horse meat connoisseur Chascates.)

Your Daily Malkin

By pantspantspants, 4 May, 2009, 10 Comments

There are some great stories on Shelley Malkin’s website today, but I’m not writing about any of them. This is because I’m going to take the time today to concentrate on a man whose views, when placed next to Shelley’s, seem downright moderate.

This is the story of a man who cares about America; a patriot who will fight like hell to support his country; a true American who will save the Republican party and will lead them back to a majority in 2010.

Who is this man, this moderate, this savior of the Republican Party? Is it Bobby Jindall? No. Is it Jeb Bush? Not on your life. How about Michael Steele? Dream on. This new leader—the face of true “compassionate conservatism” in 2010 and beyond—is none other than Neal Horsley. Let’s explore the website of a true winning candidate whose views represent inalienable truths.

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URGENT: Call To Arms

By viyh, 3 May, 2009, 12 Comments

If you haven’t already (or even if you have), go vote at the RTP website in our bid to get Neal Horsley elected, as explained in the previous post. We are currently competing for a top 10 spot. Also, upvote it on reddit and digg!

UPDATE: And if you need more convincing, this youtube video should win you over!

The Good Fight Continues

By shortsshortsshorts, 1 May, 2009, 10 Comments

fight-the-good-fightWe continue to troll “Rebuild the Party.” Help us get to No. 1. After all, if you aren’t Number 1, what are you, really?

And check out this one, as well. It looks like we will be trolling over there for a little while, AGAIN.

UPDATE:

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Dirty Baby-Killing Liberal Nancy Reagan Endorses Obama’s Stem-Cell Plan

By shortsshortsshorts, 9 March, 2009, 1 Comment

SECKSIEEvery news-cycle known to mankind in the Milky Way Galaxy has been hip to the news about stem-cell research— that is to say that everyone loves it now, because any debate against it is pretty much retarded. However, much to the chagrin of Ronald Reagan worshipers everywhere, it has a new supporter, and she is one shining silver fox of a woman. It’s Nancy Reagan!

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North Dakota Passes Law Giving Fertilized Eggs More Rights than Homosexuals

By shortsshortsshorts, 2 March, 2009, 4 Comments

"When the baby comes out we stop caring, because we have won."Do you like looking at ultrasound pictures of your soon-to-be child? Are you a Planned Parenthood doctor who wants to do your work? Do you generally believe that there is no case law on the planet that can refute Roe v. Wade?

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