Thursday brings us the most super specialest Jeezusy day of the year at the White House. At least it is if you believe the bullshit proffered by the Hitler-, Stalin- and Mao-admiring The Family, who own the House of Sleaze on C Street in DC and sponsor the annual National Prayer Breakfast.

Every February, under the guise of humble Christian prayer, The Family brings their powerful, poor people-hating friends from around the world to DC for a week of lobbying, with the focus usually on arms deals to help The Family’s tyrannical friends maintain their hold on power back in their native banana republics.

This year, though, the usual NPB flavor comes with a twist. With the Family’s shroud of secrecy pierced by sex scandals (Nevada Senator John Ensign’s being the sexiest,) the media has shined an unwelcome light on some of their less savory activities.

And the least savory involves The Family’s friends in Uganda attempting to enact legislation calling for the imprisonment and execution of homosexuals.

Because your Shorts&Pants correspondent’s sex life would make David Carradine and Catherine Millet blush, he can’t really understand the frenzied fear in Uganda over something as milquetoast as gay sex.

But while the media has their knickers in a twist this year over the evil Ugandans and their gay panic, they’ve done an otherwise excellent job over the years concealing the true nature of the NPB, which is a secular event sponsored by a secretive, cultish, fundamentalist group of weirdos whose main purpose is to facilitate lobbying by their international “brothers in Christ.”

Their stated aim is to cater to the powerful in a queer sort of trickle-down Christianity, which allows them to rationalize their support for the sexual deviants at their C Street house. They don’t care about abortion, deficits, health care, campaign spending or any of the usual conservative bugbears.

But they will go to great lengths to cover up, and failing that, to ameliorate the consequences of bad behavior by their members.

While it’s easy to say The Family is only interested in the exercise and acquisition of power, the question remains just what is their ultimate purpose. Their slogan is “Jesus plus nothing,” whatever the fuck that means. But as with all sociopaths, though, power is both the means and the ends. It needs no explanation.

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