Your Shorts & Pants has been in existence since February 8, 2009. ALMOST ONE YEAR! There is a reason for this. LET’S GET PERSONAL.

The idea for this “blarg” came about in June of 2008. Your Editor was saying “HMM, IT WOULD BE KINDA COOL TO START A SITE WITH SOME FRIENDS” and various people were like “YAY DOOD,” and thus the process began. There was one little hang-up though— George W. Bush was still our President. There was really nothing interesting to write about as long as that sore remained in office, so we had to wait. That is why the start of this thing began with the Obama administration, as there would be more hilarious moments to write about, instead of all that depressing shit we had to think about for far too long.

Well, now that we can be depressed again, we thought it was time to break out the big guns. We really had no choice, as “chascates” filled the tips box with “Brig “Bollyhood” posts about how great President Bush was. This is why your Editor, for the first time, is going to talk about the courageous and wonderful thing we all refer to as “the Bush legacy.” Chascates is such a jerk for doing this.

Maybe it’s the constant onslaught of rain that California is experiencing that puts us into this mood. Is it? Meh, who knows. Let’s do it— as this is some hilarious garbage we have to present to you now.

Our first presentation is too good to just “say,” so here is a screen grab:

WHY DID YOU DO THAT, AMERICA?

Any American who thinks that Bush was misdirected when he sent troops to Iraq in 2003 can’t possibly deny that renewing war in Afghanistan in 2009 to hunt Al Qaeda, eight years after the Sept. 11 attacks is, at the least, equally fallible.

Jeffrey Scott Shapiro is surely the cream of the crop. While he fails to demonstrate that Iraq and Afghanistan are in fact two separate countries, he still manages to invoke 9/11, AND HE EVEN MENTIONS AL QAEDA. Therefore you have no right to blame George Bush for the Iraq war. Served.

America quickly forgot about how President Bush charismatically lifted our spirits during some of the darkest moments of our nation’s history when the Twin Towers collapsed. After all, even Senator Kerry admitted Bush’s handling of the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks was “terrific,” during the 2004 presidential debates.

Ah, yes. What great times we had after 9/11. Your Editor was in New York during that experience, and I don’t think people were running around saying “George Bush is really lifting our spirits,” but I could be wrong. Remember what George was doing during 9/11? Here:

TRUE LEADERSHIP.

George W. Bush seemed to have an almost mystical understanding of what the American people needed when we needed it most. He reminded all of us of why we should be proud to be Americans at a time when there was a whisper that we brought the Sept. 11 attacks upon ourselves for promoting democracy abroad.

Oh fucking Christ. Just… draw your own conclusions or something. MOVING ON.

Gary Graham pens a wonderful load of moron that you simply MUST adhere to.

Yes. Gary has actually stated that George Bush and “class” were not only serendipitous, but madly in love with one another. You see, Barack Obama is classless trash, correct? George Bush REPEATEDLY showed us what a REAL statesman acts like. While fondling world leaders may not APPEAR to be less then dignified, it is only a small piece of the classiest cake you have ever seen.

So what is it? Why is Bush so despised, ridiculed, and minimized?
George Bush is openly Pro-Life.

That’s what it was! He was PRO LIFE! None of that other shit ever happened. We ridicule him now because of his love of fetus’. There is no other reason. Carry on.

Adam “Failure” Baldwin (one of two failed Baldwins) would like to chime in about the more “personal side” of George W. Bush. We appreciate this. No really. Bring it, Baldwin.

President Bush effectively thwarted America’s enemies both foreign and domestic for the remainder of his two culturally intolerant terms in office. (Insects be damned).
For his honorable service, for his dedication and strength in leadership, for his goodness and decency as a man, our nation owes him a debt of gratitude that it can never repay.

Yes. 9/11 must have happened under Clinton’s watch, right? Additionally, we will now prove how gay Baldwin is for our former President:

Look at how they coddle each other. Do you see the sparkle in his eye? Do you see the embrace overcoming Baldwin’s resistance to man-love? We do.

So, now we will leave you with the reality of the Bush legacy, of which most of you are aware. The fact that your Editor has spent the last hour putting this pile of shit together says a lot for how much we love George W. Bush. Head over to Salon and read this little ditty. We are going back to fart jokes now.

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