This post will be written entirely in Sarah Palin dialect.
“Hey guys! Guess what! I AM A FILTHY WHORE. I WANT PENISES INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL OF THE TIME.

Ha ha, just kidding:

I’m not closing the doors and that is great because I said I would work for FOX News but not so I can use them as a mouth piece for my 2012 Presidential bid which gives me a greater advantage over mean ‘ol Barack Obama Alaska and Russia and all of them!”

Right, Sarah. Here’s what she actually said (it isn’t far off):

“You know, I’m not going to close any doors for my future, for my family’s future – don’t know what’s in the future, what it holds, but between now and whenever a big decision has to be made, I’m gonna do all that I can to help our country get back on the right track, and that’s to get a message out there about solutions that I believe and a whole lot of Americans believe need to be plugged in,” said the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee.

That is one of the longest sentences ever spoken — with words — in human history. I guess the point is ’she’s still in the running.’ This also means ’she will be resigning on January 25, 2013,’ in order to run for the next opportunity: Mrs. America.

All you liberals like to make jokes and talk about how great it would be for Palin to run in 2012, as that would mean a surefire victory for Obama. TAKE HEED, LIBERALS. The fact that a woman like her continues to grab the attention of the American people to the point of a Presidential bid speaks for ALL of us as a country. YOU ELITES SHOULD NOTE, you live in a country where Palins the world over are taking charge of your interests and the opinions of others. What the hell have you been doing with yourselves, Liberals? I don’t see many of you on the tee vee, after all. Stop fapping and run for Governor of Alaska. You too can be a Sarah Palin.

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