There is a place out there where cretins go to rant. It is a place that makes your Shorts&Pants look like it ISN’T PATRIOTIC ENOUGH. That’s right. We thought we were Earth’s Most Patriotic Gun Blog, but we have finally found our competition. These people. Let’s begin with a little racism.

Oldest self-governed Negro republic is completely dependent on US handouts even without earthquakes.

SPOT ON. Not only is that horrible, it is terribly fucking misleading. BUT WHATEVER. GO ON, Conservative Patriot:

Flash forward to 1915. The “Jewel of the Caribbean” is now a desolate cesspool, that is exporting almost no sugar. The United States decides to “take up the white man’s burden” and send the US Marine Corps to rebuild Haiti’s infrastructure and feed it’s starving population.

So why is Haiti the “white man’s burden?” Maybe we should get a more accurate idea of what really happened:

The appalling state of the country is a direct result of having offended a quite different celestial authority — the French. France gained the western third of the island of Hispaniola — the territory that is now Haiti — in 1697. It planted sugar and coffee, supported by an unprecedented increase in the importation of African slaves. Economically, the result was a success, but life as a slave was intolerable. Living conditions were squalid, disease was rife, and beatings and abuses were universal. The slaves’ life expectancy was 21 years. After a dramatic slave uprising that shook the western world, and 12 years of war, Haiti finally defeated Napoleon’s forces in 1804 and declared independence. But France demanded reparations: 150m francs, in gold.

For Haiti, this debt did not signify the beginning of freedom, but the end of hope. Even after it was reduced to 60m francs in the 1830s, it was still far more than the war-ravaged country could afford. Haiti was the only country in which the ex-slaves themselves were expected to pay a foreign government for their liberty. By 1900, it was spending 80% of its national budget on repayments. In order to manage the original reparations, further loans were taken out — mostly from the United States, Germany and France. Instead of developing its potential, this deformed state produced a parade of nefarious leaders, most of whom gave up the insurmountable task of trying to fix the country and looted it instead. In 1947, Haiti finally paid off the original reparations, plus interest. Doing so left it destitute, corrupt, disastrously lacking in investment and politically volatile. Haiti was trapped in a downward spiral, from which it is still impossible to escape. It remains hopelessly in debt to this day.

We must enslave white people for 300 years so they can really understand the historical context. There is only one solution, and it is bondage. Bondage for whitey. BRING BACK THE SLAVERY.

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