Here at Shorts & Pants we love women. We love men, too, of course. But our most special and devoted love is reserved for chicks who used to be dudes — chicks with dicks, you might say, sort of.

To honor our love for these courageous and determined people, today we celebrate the first transgendered presidential appointee to the federal government, Amanda Simpson.

Amanda, née Mitchell, Simpson, a former test pilot and deputy director of human killing machines manufacturer Ratheon Missile Systems, was yesterday appointed by President Obama to a post as senior technical adviser in the Commerce Department. That ripping sound you hear is the fabric of God’s America being torn apart.

We say first presidential appointee, but no one’s really sure about that.

Because our transgendered brethren, or sisteren, are not necessarily distinguishable from non-transgendered folk. Much like the biggest threat to American society, homosexuals, a transgendered person could be sitting in the cubicle next to yours and you’d never know it unless they decided to startle you with the horrifying truth.

So a previous president like, say, George W. Bush, could indeed have appointed a transgendered person to a federal job and not even known he was doing it!

This is how the gay and transgendered agenda will destroy God’s America — from the inside, brick by brick.

And, come to think of it, Donald Rumsfeld does look suspiciously like a chick who used to be a dude.

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