Your Shorts & Pants correspondent has long suspected that the Transportation Security Administration’s airport employees were hired wholesale from Pizza Hut when the TSA was created in November 2001.
The TSA is but one of the many useless government agencies created to make us feel safer in the wake of 9/11, but as the Homeland Security Department’s most visible agency due to its airport presence, its bumbling ways have been exposed time and again.
Today marks the nadir of this joke factory, as the clueless chuckleheads at the TSA have managed to expose online “its airport screening procedures manual, including some of the most closely guarded secrets regarding special rules for diplomats and CIA and law enforcement officers.”
The leaked documents “include information about who screeners target for special scrutiny, as well as the technical settings used by metal and explosives detection equipment at airports.”
This news will come as no surprise to anyone who’s had to take off their shoes before boarding or seen a TSA bonehead run a scanner over an infant, looking for bombs hidden in the baby’s diaper. But the gullible senator from Maine, Susan Collins, called it a “shocking breach (that) undercuts the public’s confidence in the security procedures at our airports.”
Sen. Collins doesn’t mingle much with the hoi polloi, or else she’d know that nobody in God’s America has any confidence in the security procedures at our airports. The screeners couldn’t look more bored if they were in a coma, unless they’re on one of their frequent power trips when someone deigns to inquire into the efficacy of shoe searches or the need to unbuckle their belt and pull their pants down slightly (I wish I were making this up.)
Sen. Collins also apparently does not understand the value of not publicizing the fact that the TSA “inadvertently posted its own security manual on the Internet.” You’d think maybe she’d want to handle this one on the sly instead of blabbing about it to show everyone how tough she is on the Homeland Security folks.
But we’ve come to expect nothing less from the security apparatus which sprung up in the wake of 9/11. Tom Ridge admitted in his book that Homeland Security used their color-coded threat level nonsense to distract the public for political gain. And everyone knows that the pointless and time-wasting harassment we all endure at airports wouldn’t have stopped the 9/11 hijackers.
Apart from making traveling a complete pain in the ass, Homeland Security and the TSA have done fuck all for the average American. It’s just been one long series of fuckups and political grandstanding.
This is the legacy of George W. Bush — a pointless war against a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, and a pointless security agency that does nothing to protect us from the next 9/11. God bless America.
UPDATE: Neglected to thank noted Nazi sympathizer “chascates” for bringing this story to our attention.
That’s a nasty dig at Pizza Hut.
Pizza Hut pizza sucks. But they have good security. No Pizza Hut has ever been hijacked and crashed into a skyscraper.
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