If you are a wingnut and hate your own party— you should be ELATED over this news:
Palin-Beck 2012?
COULD IT BE? Yes, there are rumors afoot as Sarah Palin opened up that wide berth of hers and sprayed spit and words out at some innocent person:
Sarah Palin has suggested Fox News firebrand Glenn Beck could be someone she’d consider as a running mate if she makes a bid for the White House in two years.
Do not adjust your Internets— what you have just read actually happened. We know not what this means, but we can interpret in a few ways.
1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
3. What the fuck?
Obviously, we are not the only ones who feel this way. Fox News, in its infinite balance, has conducted an incredibly reliable “poll” which seeks to encourage the obvious good nature of the Palin/Beck ticket. While they already have a STUNNING view of Glenn Beck, this Very Important and Not Contested poll indicates that America simply loves Sarah Palin, and Nancy Pelosi is a raging twat-waffle. Why these two ladies get compared all the time by Fox??? Because who ACTUALLY likes Pelosi? Just sayin’.
According to the finely worded poll, 45% of Americans love Sarah Palin and NOBODY likes Pelosi (duh). In addition, the most popular people in America are Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich and Oprah (what?), so we can see what’s coming in 2012. While this poll is not from this place you surfs call “reality,” it DOES raise some other interesting points. For instance, 61% of people believe that Sarah Palin has been treated unfairly by the press— and WE ALL KNOW that’s true. Poor, poor Sarah.
But finally— and here’s the real kicker of all the questions asked— is “Why would you buy Sarah Palin’s book.” Note that it’s not “would you buy Sarah Palin’s book?” but “why?” The options: 1, Because other people did, 2. They support her, or 3. They really want to read it. WOW.
So look out for 2012, as the Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin train will surely outpace Barack Obama in every sense of the word. This will be a political slaughter against Democrats! A SLAUGHTER I say unto thee!
When I first heard that Michael Jackson married Lisa Presley I figured the End Times were near. If this happens it’ll mean we’re living in the Times of Tribulation.
@chascates
Time of Jubilee you mean.
Pundits and comediants around the country are creaming their pants at the thought of it.
“Nancy Pelosi is a raging twat-waffle.”
Mmmmmm…. twat-waffles……
I so hope she becomes the republican candidate because I’m sure she’d lose the general election.
Bush won (?) because he appealed to mainstream republicans and the far right. She only appeals to the far right, and mainstream republicans will be disabused about her quickly enough, if they aren’t already.
[...] should also point out our love of Glenn Beck. There are no particular moments we will focus on with him, as every moment with Glenn is like [...]