Why are you following Douglas Hoffman? WHY DO YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH? You bastards are making him paranoid, and that’s just cruel. Hoffman did nothing to you, right? So why the animosity? Why the black helicopters? Why the strange clicks during phone calls and the white van down the street? You need to cut this out, America. Doug has enough on his mind. He doesn’t need you coming into his home and changing his clocks, poisoning his coffee with anthrax, or having members of the New World Order convene in his basement every 3 weeks. The FBI should certainly stop sending Lizard People over to Hoffman’s home to convince him that none of this is happening, and Xenu is damned to hell if he keeps sending pamphlets trying to explain these occurrences. What we’re trying to say is, Doug Hoffman is being screwed over by every entity, government or not, that has ever roamed the land.
Douglas L. Hoffman suggested Wednesday in a letter that “ACORN, the unions and the Democratic Party” “tampered” with results to deny him victory.
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? The liberals, that’s who. It’s not as if he didn’t stand a chance in the first place. Clearly he was the victim of an organized conspiracy— even worse than the FLUORIDE IN THE WATER trick. Yes, you know that trick. We’re onto you.
Mr. Hoffman said the “phone system foul-up” and “inspectors who read numbers incorrectly when phoning in results” “sounds like a tactic right from the ACORN playbook.”
YES, Hoffman. WE’VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. First the Government and ACORN procure the bundling— and then, when the Nation turns its head, THEY ACT. This is a classic bait and switch routine. We need only to look to Alex Jones for an explanation, but he is a hot-headed sack of dicks, so no dice.
Mr. Hoffman told conservatives he was “forced to concede” on election night after learning he trailed by 5,335 votes and that he “barely won” his “stronghold in Oswego County.”
Ah, see— COERCION. Is the picture coming together? Oh oh… this is a hot story. Right off the presses. Tell your family. TELL THEM ABOUT THE BLACK HELICOPTERS. Otherwise it will be too late and some Democrat will win an election as you watch in vain.
UPDATE: Oh god dammit.
ACORN is responsible for diarrhea.
Funny that NY23 GOP leadership are in the press disputing Hoffman’s accounts of things. Let him carry on, it will only make conservatism even more tarded to the hard working and result in lost elections.