Our soldiers at home have our BEST INTERESTS IN MIND. That is why we revere them. Marine reservists, for example, are trained to point out the enemy and neutralize them ON SIGHT. We do not have an army of the weak, but a coalition of the mighty and strong. This is a given fact— which is why if you are Greek, you need to step the fuck out of the way, or take what’s coming to you.

We did not recognize the Greeks as a legitimate threat in the past. They seemed, while relatively leftist, to be a strong ally in our War Against Everybody. And, despite this, there are still Greek priests running around Florida trying to ruin our way of life.

Here is a wonderful story about defending American values. It all begins with Marine reservist, Jasen Bruce, and his admirable indignation against those who do not respect the English language.

You see, Jasen had a bad run-in with a Greek-Orthodox Priest/Commie/Fascist who didn’t speak very much ‘Merican. Sometimes this must result with a tire-iron to the head. It is written:

That man, a Greek Orthodox priest named Father Alexios Marakis, speaks little English and was lost, police said. He wanted directions.

What the priest got instead, police say, was a tire iron to the head. Then he was chased for three blocks and pinned to the ground — as the Marine kept a 911 operator on the phone, saying he had captured a terrorist.

One can only imagine the sheer joy Jasen felt after catching a REAL LIVE TERRORIST doing his TERRORIST DEALINGS somewhere in the Tampa Bay area. This led to more hilarity, as Jasen realized he was, well, really fucking wrong about the whole thing:

Police say Bruce offered several reasons to explain his actions:

The man tried to rob him.

The man grabbed Bruce’s crotch and made an overt sexual advance in perfect English.

The man yelled “Allahu Akbar,” Arabic for “God is great,” the same words some witnesses said the Fort Hood shooting suspect uttered last week.

“That’s what they tell you right before they blow you up,” police say Bruce told them.

Poor Bruce couldn’t catch a break on this one, but at least the police were initially on his side:

Brown said the police initially called the Marine a “hero” and said the priest was “mentally ill.”

The moral of this story? We are a country of mouth-breathing-cretinous-redneck-racists. Thanks for reminding all of us of that, Jasen.

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