Levi Johnston, who is arguably America’s Grandest Sweetheart, has been running around fishing for any and all forms of attention that may or may not contribute to his future Presidential campaign— and this ANGERS THE PALIN. You do not want to ANGER THE PALIN, as she has a death-machine PR firm with far-reaching abilities beyond the grasp of all that challenge it. So Sarah, being retarded, has called out Levi in his not-worthy-to-pay-attention-to media escapade that has plagued a witting populace for months now. This may actually be the only relevant thing Sarah Palin has ever done, and we must give credit where it is due.
Sarah is chasing Levi all over the land. Levi may hide, but Sarah will find him. She will probably rip his limbs from his body, and even then, when Levi is bleeding to death alone on the side of some awful Alaskan freeway, Sarah will still be unsatisfied.
In a statement issued this afternoon, Palin, R-Alaska, said: “We have purposefully ignored the mean spirited, malicious and untrue attacks on our family. We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied.”
SCANDALOUS! Sarah is “defending herself” from the “malicious and untrue attacks,” as she has been since conception. You see, Palin was born with an ethics complaint laced around her neck, and she’s probably freaking the fuck out knowing that some douche named Levi can probably destroy her career. Or maybe he can’t, but who cares. As a Nation of Retards, we are obligated to pay attention to this bullshit.
How dare he even say the word ‘retarded’? The Golden Child is a fallen angel who just happened to shoot out of Sarah’s chute.
Jesus loves retarded babies,
all retarded babies in the world!
Red and yellow, black and white,
they’re retarded in his sight,
so they make the Christians in the world!
We, like many, are appalled
Who the fuck is WE, Snowbilly? I am amused, especially by Levi’s assertion that you call your baby “retard.” That is motherfuckin’ funny!
But I would hop on the Bristol train in no seconds flat. Oh yeah.
“Palin, R-Alaska”? If I’m not mistaken, no office is currently held. Does this mean all of us can now use this format with our names?
It will suit just fine until that honorary doctorate from Arizona State comes in, well, that or my Nobel Peace Prize
I wondered about that too, Bruno. I believe it’s short for “I R Frum Alaska.”
Or maybe she’s decided she wants her old job back.
@HoboSpaceJunkie
“…I would hop on the Bristol train in no seconds flat. Oh yeah.”
And finally, our penises agree.