Angry Christians abound! They are everywhere! You see, various “Leagues” are incensed by various “things.” We will feature two of these in one post. IT’S LIKE A BUY ONE GET ONE FREE SALE!
Your Editor is very tired after waking up early to go to the protest-fest down on Market Street and therefore hasn’t been “writing,” but no worries! There’s another protest tomorrow against the coal industry, and of course your ShortsandPants will be there— camera in hand.
Anyway, CHRISTIANS— you keep making up shit, and that is rather entertaining. One such story involves the “Hate Crimes” bill that recently made it illegal to beat the living shit out of gay people. This is, of course, an outrage. As a Nation we are bound by our Founding Fathers to senselessly destroy the will of another. It is the American way, god dammit.
Let us share this story of plight and suffering from the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission:
He will stop at nothing to undermine the will of the majority of Americans to pay back militant homosexual activists who raised millions of dollars for his campaign and worked to get him elected. To sign the bill in the Rose Garden is another slap in the face and shows the level of contempt President Obama has for the majority of Americans who oppose the ‘homosexualization’ of marriage, the military and public education.
OH WHY OBAMA? WHY DO YOU PERSECUTE THE CHRISTIANS? Yes, they are obviously full of shit, but it is still entertaining— so we will leave it at that.
The second, slightly more extreme example is from the Catholic League. You will simply adore this headline:
That’s what it’s called. In essence, it is about how Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, is a washed up old hag for having one of his characters piss all over Jesus, all of the time.
As you can see. it is very difficult to be Christian in a society where roughly 78% of the population claims to be a follower of that “Christ” guy, who obviously hates Christians.
Check out this hilarious take on it from the Jewish Internet Defense Force:
Jesus and Urinating Don’t Mix: Christians Curb Their Enthusiasm for Larry David
http://www.thejidf.org/2009/10/christians-curb-their-enthusiasm-for.html
Yet the Catholics are fine with substantiation; eating the blood and flesh of Christ. Deviated preverts!
Those poor xtians, always being persecuted in this land of one billion churches. If I had any talent, I’d create a political cartoon of Hitler & Obama together pissing on a pile of Bibles. Or maybe a cartoon showing xtian transsubstantiation being a pile of bibles turning into a pile of dog shit. A steaming pile. Too bad, as one o’ them Monty Python people said, Jesus is kind of unmockable. He was a thoroughly decent little Jew who said lots of decent things. Too bad his retarded followers can’t all die of heart disease tomorrow at dawn.
The comments on the jidf site are hilarious. For people who claim to have come to America to escape religious persecution, the xtian crazies sure do their share of persecuting everybody else. The swine can’t even figure out if they’re Jews or xtians.
Why would signing the bill in the Rose Garden be a bigger slap in the face to Christians? BECAUSE TEH GEYHZ LOVE FLOWERS!?!?!1