THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR, as Tea Baggers plan to call in sick on July 30, 2009 to protest, umm, TAXES! The event is truly epic. It is called “a day without a Conservative.” Can you imagine anything more awesome for the rest of us? A WHOLE DAY, without them? We should rename July 30, 2009 “Christmas,” in honor of logic’s rebirth.
Going Galt – Call In Conservative
Date: 07/30/2009
Time: All Day
Location: Everywhere, USA
Details: On July 30th, Conservatives are “Going Galt”. On that date, Tea Party Nation is asking Conservatives all across the nation to “Call in Conservative”. On July 30th, Conservatives will not work, we will not buy. Instead, we will spend time with our families and friends. We will show President Obama and Congress who REALLY drives this economy. For more information on “A Day Without Conservatives.”
What will Krispy Kreme do without their business? Who will read the Wall Street Journal? OH THE HORROR. OH THE HUMANITY.
We should encourage everyday to be “A Day Without Conservatives” until these god damn Tea Party folks get what they want. Surely it will happen via this method.
“Going Galt” is ok, I guess, but what’s with these namby-pamby half-measures? Why don’t they go full-on retard and “Go Plath.” Why limit your commitment to a single day, when you can make a commitment that lasts forever?
The rest of us would thank them for it, I’m sure.
Does this mean FOX news will shut down for the day? Yay!
Holding their breath all day is a much better idea.
I am… astonished at the ignorance displayed by the T-baggers. These are the same people who were happy as clams with Der Chimpenfuhrer’s antics, calling his critics unpatriotic and voicing emprecatory prayers for all us ‘others’ to spontaneously combust. Sad to say, my Father is a full-blown Fox Nation anti-Obama tax-revoltin’ jeezy who thinks Rush is Right and that our President is the full-monty commie/fascist/socialist/Muslim that Ms. Palin asserts with a winkie. WOW… like Forrest said, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.’
Real world results of 15,000 (ok I exaggerate) tea bagging heroes staying home? Imperceptible increase in Fox viewership. Imperceptible decrease in Wal-Mart sales. Great big yawn from anyone who actually notices.
They will however be undeterred in ascribing vast importance to their inconsequential activities. Cause that’s just the sort of guys they are.
Fail. You know how many people vacation the last week of July/first week in Aug? Retail sales are down then anyway. Of course, the mouth breathers planned it like that, so they could spin the numbers to make it look like they had impact.
By spendin time with their families, I take it this means extra closeted highway reststop gay sexytime.
Sounds like a good day to cruise for a hate teabagging
More than anything else these fuckers are liars. Case in point: the first teabagging in Austin could credibly claim about 1250 attendees. This had ballooned to 8,000 on their website just before the 2nd teabagging. I attended the 2nd one and could count with my own brainpan and fingerdigits just over 200. So of course they claim over 700. And these are morally upright people of god. Who lie. And of course if they lie about something as trivial as a teabagging, imagine if they had semi-dictatorial powers. Oh wait, we just had 8 years of them having semi-dictatorial powers. And they lied about everything.
Also, their Day Without A Conservative is stealing one of my favorite ideas, only mine is more expansive and would express the power of all the people, not just the mouth-breathers. Pick one day a month and have everyone in the country stay home from work. You’d see a lot of change follow very quickly after a few of those.
The crazy lady who sits in the next cubicle over with the picture of Jack Bauer hanging next to a sign that says, ‘If you can’t stand up to Fox News, how will you stand up to al Qaeda’…How do you all suggest I cope with that crushing loss for one whole fucking day?
@Crapola
Re-arrange everything in her cubicle. Don’t ransack it and leave it in a mess, but simply put everything in there in a different place so it looks orderly but isn’t. Record her reaction on video and post here. Or leave a steaming pile in her chair just before closing time so she returns to the steaming pile after her day off. Or to avoid the possibility of janitorial staff ruining that surprise, leave the steaming pile in a locked filing cabinet for her. The more pieces of corn the better. A rotting animal carcass would also work in place of the steaming pile, since those can’t always be produced on demand.
@Crapola
Replace the picture with a picture of Jack Bauer at a fundraiser with Obama and the question “if you can’t handle David Letterman or Katie Couric, how can you handle al-Qaeda or Iran?” Or just beat the shit out of her in the parking lot. The fuck I care?
never mind who’ll read the Wall Street Journal: Who will write it?
A week without a conservative.
Wait and see what we have coming up! From July 30 to August 5, America will see what it’s like to have to fend for itself without the contribution of conservative Americans. You’ve heard of a “day without a Mexican,” well we are going to have a WEEK without a conservative.
If you are a conservative call in sick from July 30 to August 5. Do not go to work, do not go to the store, do not contribute to the economy in any way. Then they will see what happens to a country that laughs off conservative values!
@Melanie:
I can’t wait! I know Hobo and I will not work during that week!
@Melanie & @Brendan: I hope that doesn’t mark us out as conservatives.
Also, Melanie, how the hell did you find yourself here in enemy territory? Have you read other posts on this blog? Conservatives are considered just below journalists and just above monkey poo in terms of respect accorded. I look forward to your silly week w/o conservatives with glee. If only you could make it permanent I’d donate money to your cause. Also, you do realize that anywhere you sit in public, three of the four people around you do not identify themselves as conservative. So good luck with the huge numbers I’m sure will help you when you get fired from your job for telling your boss you’re a conservative.
What we have neglected in all of this mess is that when all of the TRUE CONSERVATIVES(tm) are fired for gross negligence, we will have to put up with their continual crap-fer-brainz on teh interwebz ALL DAY LONG. DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE UNEMPLOYED? Re-education camps (far away from interwebz) would be the best.
Melanie, next time you comment here, don’t check the box that says “notify me of follow-up comments”. That way, you won’t recieve emails from this site.
Yours in Christ,
Large Prophetic Whale
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