WHOA BOYS AND GIRLS! Do you know what comes to our Tips box? All Sarah, all the time. Literally 90% of the Tips here are some sort of Sarah Palin treatise written by some moron named “Bill Kristol” or whatever, but we shan’t post anymore of these silly columnists on this topic, as we merely wish to poke fun.

There are two things that are all you need to know about with this TRAGIC situation of Palin’s resignation, and we must share them both with you, the best readers in the land:

1. Did you know that Sarah is a basketball EXPERT. In her resignation speech (man that was a huge pile of fail, right?) she brought in a basketball analogy. You see, Sarah played ball in High School, so she knows what the hell she’s talking about. Share with us, dear Sarah—

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory.

YA SEE? It is clear. Basketball and politics are not only coming together, but coming together in a WINNING combination. Of course, Deadspin had to screw it up with their LIBERAL BIAS, or whatever. Here is their diagram of what Sarah thinks:

The squiggly line up the Court leads us to freedom, justice and inspiration— for Jesus.

Of course, keeping with this insane and useless analogy, Sarah Palin’s spokeswoman then got on the phone with “Anderson Cooper,” and continued the rant of fail:

So, you know… BASKETBALL!
PART 2:

Andrew Sullivan shares with us a quote from Sarah Palin that your Editor, as a “student of Law,” really appreciates. It’s about the White House, too, which is is an expert on as an aspiring Presidential Candidate.

But as for whether another pursuit of national office, as she did less than a year ago when she joined Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., in the race for the White House, would result in the same political blood sport, Palin said there is a difference between the White House and what she has experienced in Alaska. If she were in the White House, she said, the “department of law” would protect her from baseless ethical allegations.”I think on a national level, your department of law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we’ve been charged with and automatically throw them out,” she said. There is no “Department of Law” at the White House.

sArrAh paAllin EKSPIR-TEES.

And that is everything you need to know about Sarah Palin.

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