NORM! You are insane!

Just as Democratic Party rival Al Franken said he looks “forward to joining my colleagues as we examine Judge Sotomayor’s qualifications,” Coleman assumed an air of inevitability, stating that “when” he’s re-elected, he’ll apply the same standard for a “Democrat” nominee as he would’ve under a Republican president.

That’s right— “when.” Norm Coleman is an anomaly of a human being. It is questionable at this point as to whether or not he is even human, at all.

It’s possible he’s lost his mind. He exhibits all the qualities of a man not induced with a psychosis, but likely inhibited with some sort of pseudo-dementia/Alzheimer/degenerative brain condition that clearly takes reality out of the equation.

It is most likely that Norm Coleman is overtaken with a substance abuse issue. The signs are there: it’s Xanax.

Psychological symptoms: anxiety** (including panic attacks), depression**, insomnia*, derealization/depersonalization* (feelings of unreality/detachment from self), abnormal sensitivity sensory stimuli* (such as loud noise or bright light),

We can only hope that our good friend Norm could use help from all of us. Do your part and raise awareness in your community so that these negative behaviours stay in the fringe.

This has been a public announcement by ShortsandPants.

(Minn. Independent)

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