There are some great stories on Shelley Malkin’s website today, but I’m not writing about any of them. This is because I’m going to take the time today to concentrate on a man whose views, when placed next to Shelley’s, seem downright moderate.
This is the story of a man who cares about America; a patriot who will fight like hell to support his country; a true American who will save the Republican party and will lead them back to a majority in 2010.
Who is this man, this moderate, this savior of the Republican Party? Is it Bobby Jindall? No. Is it Jeb Bush? Not on your life. How about Michael Steele? Dream on. This new leader—the face of true “compassionate conservatism” in 2010 and beyond—is none other than Neal Horsley. Let’s explore the website of a true winning candidate whose views represent inalienable truths.
Neal Horsley is running for the Governorship of the great state of Georgia. His party, the “Creator’s Rights Party,” is what many would call a “moderate” or “center-left” offshoot of a pseudo-democratic ideal. Here’s a photograph of Horsley in front of his campaign headquarters:
There are a few things about this picture that I’d like to point out. First, and probably most importantly, is Candidate Horsley’s ability to color coordinate. His attractive plaid shirt matches the roof of his campaign headquarters! Now that’s adding some “hip hop” to the Republican party, who are all about fashion these days. Neal Horsley is all about fashion, too!
Secondly, I hope you notice the blue Toyota pickup truck on the left-hand side of the picture. This truck, nicknamed the “Prophesy Truck,” was built in Japan America and is carrying the Word of the Lord to towns and cities all around Georgia. Neal Horsley is all about buying American and supporting American jobs!
Most importantly, however, is that sign—that prophesy—attached to Horsley’s truck. I don’t know if you can read the text, but, if you can’t, the sign says: “JESUS SAYS LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS & SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE!” Neal Horsley is all about supporting gay marriage!
There are several YouTube videos on Horsley’s site. Here’s one of them, a kind of “We Are the World” for the 21st century:
Basically, this song is about how Horsley is going to carry the “[message] of babies” on his back and to the people of Georgia! Hopefully to the Governor’s mansion, right? The message of babies is about peace, love, and understanding!
Sadly, one thing that Horsley doesn’t go into much detail about on his website is the hot-button issue of abortion. It isn’t clear from the content of the site whether or not Horsley is pro-life or pro-choice, though I’d have to guess the latter. I mean, there is a link at the bottom of the site called “Disgusting Christian Pro-Life Pollyanas,” and, although my Internet filtering software here at work won’t let me view it—damned liberals and their censorship!—I would assume that it contains exposés that will highlight the myriad of problems with the “pro-life” platform. After all, Neal Horsley is all about sexual choice and reproductive freedom!
So let’s review: Neal Horsley, candidate for governor of Georgia, supports gay marriage, wants to bring all people together for a better world, and is probably pro choice. On “social issues,” you can’t get more moderate than Horsley! That’s why I’d advise you to make your way over to the GOP’s website and to support the fight to bring Republican moderates like Neal Horsley into the national spotlight.
It’s the only way that our nation can be saved from right-wing extremists like Michelle Malkin.
UPDATE: As viyh points out in the comments, Neal Horsley is not, technically, a Republican. However, as a secessionist, he might want to run in the Republican primary. And then win. And then BE THE GOVERNOR OF GEORGIA.
As I said on another thread, I’m _very_ proud that our fair state is represented by such dipshits. I guess every state has its share of weirdly stupid people, and this is just part of our allotment. Still, remember that not all Georgians are this dumb. Please.
What are those thumbnail pixxx of in the computer on the right. One of those looks like a donkey’s cock to me
Oh, by the way, did he do it with a male or female donkey? I’m curious, but I’m not sure it matters any.
What is the dog in the picture for? He looks very subdued.
I don’t like Neil Horse-ley.
He rides mules hard and puts ‘em away wet.
That is just SO wrong on SO many different levels. I am an animal lover. But not in the Neil Horse-ley way…..
Bruno: knowing this prick’s back story, are you REALLY surprised Neil’s dog looks wary…?
FYI, somewhere you got mixed up. As the photo shows, he’s NOT a Republican. He’s the founder of The Creator’s Rights Party.
We have John Boner here in Ohio, but he isnt nearly as entertaining as this guy. I think I prefer this one simply because he doesnt have frequent flyer miles at Tropitan.
Hey, karen, don’t forget about “Joe” the “Plumber” and “Mean” Jean Schmidt! Or Ken “Black”well and Steve “FDR caused the Depression” Austria”n Economics!”
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