It’s Friday, FRIDAY FRIDAY! We’ve gotten through our first week of “Your Daily Malkin,” and this blog still has some readers left! Thanks, America, for your support.

Today we’re going to talk about bluffs. So let’s begin.

What does it mean, exactly, to “call [a person's] bluff”? In honor of high school students the world over, I’ve chosen the first definition to show up on Google:

[to call a person's bluff means to] challenge someone to prove what they say is true; not believe what someone is saying

All right, that definition is KIND OF in English, yay Internet! So if I bluff, that means that I’m probably lying; if you call my bluff, you’re daring me to prove my lie and counting that I will be caught in it. This is because the word “bluff” has a negative connotation; a meaning that involves the concept of dishonesty. Mmmkay?

Yesterday, Doug Powers (whom you will remember from Tuesday’s post about Obama’s flyover of New York City) has done it again. By “it,” of course, I mean “spewed batshit crazy all over the Internet.” In a post entitled “Bluff Called,” Doug references Obama’s dis of the teabaggers in his “sermon” on Wednesday night, where the President had this to say:

“Those of you who are watching certain news channels on which I’m not very popular, and you see folks waving tea bags around, Obama said, “let me just remind them that I am happy to have a serious conversation about how we are going to cut our health care costs down over the long term, how we are going to stabilize Social Security.” (Emphasis Doug’s)

(Whew! I guess Obama hasn’t read David Denby’s book!)

All snark aside, I think that this statement can be parsed as follows:

• President Obama thinks that the tea parties are ridiculous; and
• He is inviting teabaggers to instead “have a serious conversation” about the issues that concern them.

Am I right? I mean, isn’t that what he said?

Maybe it is, but not after being run through the Wingnut Translator. You see, Doug doesn’t think that Obama really wants to “have a serious conversation” with these teabaggers. He thinks that Obama is, well, bluffing:

Strange that Obama could so easily reference something he was unaware of, but nonetheless, tea party organizers are taking the president up on the offer (they say “accepted his offer” because “called his bluff” sounds too harsh for hope)…

Interesting. Obama said, publicly, that he would be willing to meet with teabaggers to discuss policy maters with which they are concerned. According to Doug, this is a “bluff.” Why, exactly?

Of course, the president’s “invitation” was of the “kiss my royal butt” variety, so don’t expect an actual meeting to come from any of this.

Ooooooooh, I see. So the President was being all “sarcastic” and “snarky.” He didn’t really mean that he would meet with people who disagree with him so that he could seriously address their concerns and try to see both sides of the issue. No, he would never do that, because he’s a giant fucktard.

Fortunately, Doug does see a “silver lining” in all of this:

Thanks though to the president for helping boost attendance on July 4th even higher than it would have otherwise been.

Do you think that, by July 4th, the teabaggers will realize that Obama has actually cut their taxes? Probably not. They’ll be too busy loading their guns and marching on Washington.

“Bluff Called” (Michelle Malkin)

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