It’s a beautiful weekend here in the northeast, so I should be out sitting on the beach and murdering unborn babies and eating ice cream and not visiting the store at RushLimbaugh.com. But, for laughs, I did, and I wanted to share some of the amazing items for sale now!
First up is this t-shirt. It’s for “Club Gitmo,” which is kind of like “Club Med,” but better because of waterboarding:
Next is this AMAZING “Limbaugh Institute” t-shirt. Is that where you go when you don’t get into Liberty University? I guess it is.
Hey, speaking of “Club Gitmo,” here’s a shirt that you can wear that proudly announces your dedication to torturing suspects who are being held indefinitely and without charges! (That’s cool, though, because those suspects aren’t white. If they were white, though…woah, watch out!)
And finally, if you’re feeling like all of these choices are completely lacking in irony, perhaps you could buy the “Peace Through Limbaugh” t-shirt?
Apparently, Rush has been “nominated for the peace prize,” which doesn’t sound too official if you ask me. I would like to nominate him for the “Largest Human Dildo” prize, which is a totally REAL prize with a statuette and a red-carpet ceremony and everything! I saw it on E! (Or I just made it up.)
“The EIB Store” (RushLimbaugh.com)
So those t-shirts are made for his conjoined twin listener base?
That’s very thoughtful, although I naturally thought the conjoined-at-the-head audience would be larger than the conjoined-at-the-arm
The picture of Rush on the Peace Through Rush shirts has been heavily photoshopped to remove about 375lbs. He almost looks human there, not the cow-like water mammal that appeared in DC recently.
Akin to that old puzzler “would you sacrifice the life of one small child (infant?) for world peace,” I ask another puzzler — would you blow Rush Limbaugh once a day for a year in exchange for US America becoming a democratic socialist paradise for ever more?
Every day for a year he cums in your mouth. But after 365 days (366 if it’s a leap year!) the riches are taxed at 99%, public transportation is cheap and on time, pollution gradually disappears, no one is homeless, drugs are legal and free, the state takes care of your parents so you don’t have to and Ann Coulter is definitively exposed as a man on national TV.
Would you do it? Would you? Really? No? Why do you hate America?
@HoboSpaceJunkie: Terrifying. BUT THAT IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN WE ALL HAVE THE SWINE FLU and stuffs.
Oh God I was going to post a whole bunch of “Fark” goodness tonight but it looks like I AM ALSO STRICKEN WITH THE SWINE FLU of Gin, so instead there will be dancers, later. TUNE IN.
@HoboSpaceJunkie: I would sacrifice Ashton Kutcher to blow Rush Limbaugh for a year. The only thing I’d ask in return is that the government legalize enough drugs to make me forget that happened.
To be perfectly honest, SHEEPLE, I’m a little disappointed/sad/brokenhearted that no one has mentioned the “porn-stache” on the picture of a young Rush Limbaugh at the top of the post. I scoured the Internet* looking for that for you! (My other choice was a picture of cute baby ducks, which wouldn’t have had a lot to do with Rush, but the we wouldn’t have had to actually LOOK at Rush, so that would’ve been a bonus.
* = Did a Google image search for “young rush limbaugh” and then drank some Bushmill’s .
Along with losing his hair his eyes and mouth seem a lot smaller now. Or did his head just expand along with the rest of his carcass?
I see all sorts of shit when I’m on E.
City worker Jazzrea McRae charged in credit scam
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/04/25/2009-04-25_city_worker_charged_in_credit_scam.html