Do you like hell? No? Well neither do we, but it seemed like a nice day to go there, anyway. Pull up a chair, strap on your finest (whatever that is), and get ready for the ride. It’s wing-nut time.

Let’s have a gander at what the GOOD HARD WORKING assholes at Pajamas Media are up to. After all, Pajamas (despite their financial cuts) has been quite an influential place for the many idiots that enjoy the endless series of tubes, “the Internet.” They seem to have an article that says that Obama is a pitch fork. That’s right, he is actually a garden tool:

“My administration is the only thing between you and the pitchforks,” Barack Obama toldthe CEOs of the world’s most powerful financial institutions on March 27, when they cited competition for talent in an international market as justification for paying higher salaries to their employees.

Sure, let’s give them that much. Obama has been playing hard-ball with the financial industries that fucked over an entire nation, because, well that is what people want, right? BUT NOT WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR DEFINITION OF PITCH FORK, which was made up by some hack, probably in his mother’s basement:

To get the full flavor of the president’s implication we must remember that in Obama’s code language, the word “pitchforks” means “a vigorous campaign of threats and intimidation perpetrated by Obama-sponsored ACORN and union activists in conjunction with theatrical outrage from government officials, amplified by the complicit media, and coordinated from one political center, which has now moved to the White House.”

You see, when you look up the word “pitch fork” you will literally see a picture of union bosses, ACORN and Bill Ayers, all eating dinner together and waiving at the camera. Whoever defines “pitch fork” to mean that can be compared to the new definition of “paper,” which forever shall be:

“Paper: A fucking idiot with no justifiable references spewing senseless garbage onto a keyboard and than puking it all over readers, everywhere, forever.”

MOVING ON.

Did you know that the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE HAS BEEN REPEALED? Well it has, apparently, according to yet another jerk-off named Dick Morris, who is a pretty famous guy, and a moron. To get a sense of what this Morris is speaking of, we must take from the RICH TEXT all that he has adorned us:

Obama, perhaps feeling guilty for the US role in triggering the international crisis, has, indeed, given away the store. Now we may no longer look to presidential appointees, confirmed by the Senate, to make policy for our economy. These decisions will be made internationally. 

You see, the President feels bad about the last eight years, which is why it justifies that he is giving away our national sovereignty. That is what international cooperation is, it is taking away the RIGHTS of the CITIZENS so that we can coordinate things with other States, maybe(?). Oh god dammit he keeps going:

The Europeans have been trying to get their hands on our financial system for decades. It is essential to them that they rein in American free enterprise so that their socialist heaven will not be polluted by vices such as the profit motive. Now, with President Obama’s approval, they have done it.

This is difficult to grasp, wasn’t it just yesterday that Glenn Beck accused Obama of being a fascist?Can these whack-o’s get their shit together, please?

PICK ONE, for god-sakes. You can’t just call him anything you want. After all, if we went with this strategy Obama would be a:

Socialist Muslim Terrorist Opportunistic Fascist Maoist Marxist Racist Elitist Uppity Inadequate…. (ADD MORE AS NECESSARY)… (and as a side note, the comments at the bottom of the page have a disclaimer that says “Note: Comments all in CAPS will not be approved.” It actually does.)

AND FINALLY, Democrats want to destroy major American cities! Apparently with the rise of “liberalism,” Hollywood is forgetting all about New York, L.A., D.C. etc. because they want to make the U.S. weak, as if that makes any sense. BUT HEY…

The Democrats must be kicked out of office in sweeping fashion in 2010 and 2012, or I fear that the Shining City’s light will be cranked down to a dull flicker in an ever darkening world.  I’m fearful for the day when I walk the streets of our great cities and towns and fail to see that glimmer of light and hope in my fellow citizens eyes – the look you can only get from a free man pursuing his dreams without the government on his back. 

Hey Big Hollywood writer DOUCHE BAG, do you want to know what really kills American cities? SPRAWL. People buy cars, cars that are American, or something. This is because they finance a house they cannot afford one hour away from a city center, and poof, the population of the city goes down, it doesn’t have as much revenue, and everything goes to shit. But you wouldn’t know that, because, well, that would actually be correct.

So there are so many wonderful wing-nuts to look forward to! Personally we should all be excited, because as more people start shooting up their local immigration buildings, work-places, families, etc., at least everyone will know why.

Today’s response to all of these fuck-tards can be found here. And to all you people who told dissenters after 9/11 to “move to France” for disagreeing with the majorities policies, why don’t you “move to France” or something.

UPDATE: And Queen Wingnut Sarah Snowbilly herself said this today, just for giggles:

“Our early opposition to reduced funding for the Missile Defense Agency is proving to be well-founded during this turbulent time. I continue to support the development and implementation of a defensive missile shield based in Alaska. We are strategically placed to defend the critical assets of the United States and our allies in the Pacific Theater.” (CNN quoted it, no link came in with the tip).

Share on Facebook