Oh hi there! KevoTron the hobo has been quite a busy guy lately. I had a fantastic weekend on the cheap thanks to some very generous friends. I’ve tried to occupy my time with job searching, helping a friend move other types of nonsense but I can’t avoid the goddamned television.
It’s terrible and vapid. I suffer from a strange form of mental illness. I cannot eat food alone without the television on. As a result I’m forced to watch daytime television for as much as an hour everyday. I have become an authority on TeeVee Judge shows in the last month. I’d like to talk about this for a while. Join me below the jump!
Judge Mathis – Oh man… This cat is too much. Logic is rarely followed. Every episode includes one “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” speech. He inspires young, black plaintiffs to follow their dreams. His speeches seem to say “lookatme! I’m black too… I talk widda axent! And I’m a judge on teevee! I’m just cold handin’ out justice!”
Judge Karen – I’m not really sure what the angle is with this show. Judge Karen is a big, black woman who wears a hideous, mauve robe and talks funny. Fail.
Judge Roberts (?) – The gay judge. “Dayyum!!!!” Gay teevee judge. That is all.
Family Court – I forget her name but she’s hot in that “LA, fake tits and lips” kind of way. If you’re feeling sentimental click over to this show to watch some fucking stupid people come to a mutual understanding. Understanding that they’re losers.
Judge Joe Brown – I can’t stand the cadence that this man speaks with. Lawwwnggg… Suthernnnnn. Dwrawwwllll! I don’t watch this one.
Well, I’m feeling a little pathetic after writing this post. Sadly, employment is not necessarily on the horizon so you’ll likely see further reviews of other programming. Maury? Jerry Springer? Steve Wilkos? Please leave suggestions in the comments
